I COULD AND HAVE GONE CRAZY ON A DAY LIKE TODAY.

I think there is a power in the universe, a creative force or mojo or zone of some type, that visits us at certain times, giving us clarity of purpose and vision, joy in what we do, and a feeling of being exactly where we are supposed to be doing precisely what we are meant to do. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, because I think I am in one of those times, one of those eddies in the cosmic river. I think this run started with the production of The Addams Family I did down in Parker with Sasquatch. One of those shows where everything clicked, top to bottom, and we all spoke in psychic shorthand to each other. It carried on into SpongeBob at StageDoor, Sound of Music also at the PACE, the Shakespeare Fest, and on and on. Even with a second round of Covid in the middle of that, I feel this connection to something larger than me. I don't know why, or really how, but I am not questioning it. 

It's here now. In Eigg. In Burning the Old Man. In the Infinite Hallway. And I raise my cup of coffee to it with glee.

I am going with the flow, and consequently reaching my flow, my zone, my place.

Maybe it kicked into high gear the the Austin Film Festival, when I got pulled up in front of hundreds of fellow writers for a live recording of ScriptNotes and lost my mind and had a crowd chanting my name while I paraded up and down the floor like a Mad Dog Poet Visionary Lunatic.

Jesus, I am in love with myself, aren't I?

Well, why not? I think I love the Vibe in me, not me in the Vibe, so karmically speaking, I should be ok.

And if I'm not, I am sure at some point soon, Life will say "okay, enough of that, McAllister, here's a big steaming pile of sorrow. Enjoy."

But that hasn't happened yet. 

No. I keep connecting, with myself, with my cast, my crew, my friends, my wife, and the universe in general.

This feeling is always a surprise to me. A miracle. A gift. 

And also makes me say to myself "Of course! This is how it is, stupid! You really can make the best of life, and should, because as far as I know, this is it. Once around, and then off to Oz. So live it up, live it well, live it now, and sing as loud as you can."

There is a lot in this world that is crazy. So much. Death and War and Famine and Plague. As a species, we seem bent of destroying ourselves and the planet, with a sort of insane glee. The sky is poisoned, the oceans are warming, and there is so much awful shit we could and probably should run up and down the street all day every screaming, weeping, gnashing our teeth, and so on.

But I don't see the point in bemoaning our fate. 

I think we have to remember what it is to be alive if we want to live. We have to revel in what joys are afforded us. We must embrace the mystic wonder of being a human being if we want to save humanity. 

We need to get, and keep, our shit together.

This involves: listening to music; dancing at every opportunity; calling old friends we haven't called in forever; picking up instead of letting it go to voicemail when they call back; speaking up when we are hurt; calling out ourselves and our friends and loved ones when doing stupid shit like we all do from time to time; forgiving as much as we can; listening; letting go; being in the moment; not faking a thing.

Man, I might as well get out a soap box, whatever that is, stand on it, and be a street preacher of some sort.

I don't mean to be didactic, but I somehow manage to be just that, often.

Sorry. 

I just feel so much energy and joy and love right now.

Also, it's my blog, and I can say whatever I want. I can  post various photos from my life showing times of awareness that have meaning to me but might just look like random shots to you. 

So be it.

May the photos and the Force be with you.

So here's a song from the summer of 1994. A seminal year in the story of my life. It's Mystery by Indigo Girls, and I dig it immensely. Still, after all these years. Still crazy. Still. 

COSMIC AWARENESS

I feel cosmically aware for this fleeting moment. Like Captain Marvel in the old comic books way back when. He had these cosmic bands, that were like very large bracelets, and they made him cosmically aware. Connected to the universe. I was never sure what powers they gave him, in the sense of super-hero powers like flying or strength or lasers shooting out of his eyes. Usually, he's go kind of translucent, and you could see outer space inside of his body, and he'd say something about the Power Cosmic, or being Cosmically Aware, and then go beat up whomever he was fighting. But those moments when he'd get into his awareness space always appealed to me when I was a kid. Like he was meditating, or had meditated so much that he could tap into this calm, this truth, this being one with the cosmos, that was awesome. He was sort of a precursor for me to the whole idea of The Force in Star Wars, and idea of being connected to everything, every rock and butterfly and pile of trash and cat and person and star. Letting go. And not is some passive, oh well, things will be what they will be and it is what it is. No, I have always gotten the sense that when you can channel your own cosmic awareness, you become more able to effect change, on every level.

It's like in acting when you go to audition. Whenever I would really want a role, that desire, combined with the fear of not getting it, would often lead to me not getting the role, because instead of just letting go and doing what I do, I'd hold on, freeze up, and not do what I do. On the auditions where either I let myself go and allowed the universe to flow through me, or I just didn't care all that much, I was always able to tap into the role, the monologue, the song, and just let loose. I would check my head at the door, leave my inner critic behind, walk into the room, and kick it in the ass. Now this is not easy, and often I fail in my attempts to be one with the universe, to feel groovy and magic. But it is a worthy goal, and when attained, however fleeting it is, always feels amazing. It's the same feeling when I see a sunrise, or a rabbit in the garden, or hear a piece of music that resonates, laugh at a joke, dance to the music on Alexa while I clean the dishes, and on and on.

I'm a hippie. I'm a consumer. I'm am she and he are we and you are me and Hi Diddly Dee an actor's life for me, a cosmically aware actor turned playwright turned screenwriter, founding member of the SOKF, streaker of renown, Left Foot of Sasquatch, Cryptozoologist, husband, son, brother, grandson, bunch of atoms combined in such a way that I can think and write blogs.

I have forsaken the news for the time being. I am brandishing my cosmic bands, flying to the dark side of the moon, which is where they actually recorded the album of the same name. Little know fact, but true. I leave sparkles in my path.

Here's a song. It's Totally Nude by The Talking Heads