New Year, Goals, Worries. New Odyssey.

A New Year. Lots coming up. Shows. Short Film. An election that could lead to the end of America. All sorts of shit. I'm directing seven plays between now and June. Producing a large budget show that goes up end of June. Teaching playwriting at the Denver Center. 

Life, as always, chugs along. Sometimes, of late, I wake with this feeling of existential dread. Like, what is the meaning of any of this? Which I know is not productive. As far as I can tell, my little brain is not equipped to process, figure out, or solve the Riddle of Being Alive. Still, now and then, I get the blues, the why-am-I-here blues. And I think. And play Greig or Simon and Garfunkel or Phoebe Bridgers, and go through it. 

And what's really amazing, and to me miraculous, is that this simple act of allowing my self to wallow in self pity and dread for a bit sort of exorcises those demons. It douses the vampire with sunlight. 

It gets me going again.

I do not know how long life is, for me or anyone else. I don't know why we are here, or where we will go, if anywhere, once it's time to do the Mortal Coil Shuffle. I just know I love it here. I love clouds and music and dogs and cats and coffee and friends and my wife and my home. I love writing stories, and showing kids how to pretend to be a goblin in the Battle of the Five Armies. 

I love all of it.

I don't think this makes me heroic. I am fairly certain I was just born this way. 

And I must be a bit of an egotist, because I write about all this in my blog sporadically, and in my journal every single day. 

I wouldn't do it if it didn't make me feel good. But does doing something to feel good justify it? I suppose that has to be taken on a case by case basis. 

So.

2024. Goals. Resolutions. Hopes and dreams. All that jazz. 

I hope to read more books. I'm reading a new translation of Homer's The Odyssey by Emily Wilson that is just fantastic. I hope to use it to fuel one of my new projects, a pilot set in the world of another project, Lunatics and Assholes, that I really love. 

I hope to finish the color and sound of my new short, Burning the Old Man, which is a proof of concept for a feature that I made with my dear friend Tim McCracken. We shot it in the fall, mostly down in Gunnison, and it was fucking awesome. Is fucking awesome. Once it's done, we plan to enter it into several film festivals, and also send it to some producers we know, with the goal of getting funding to make the feature. All we need is someone to put up 500K to 10 million. Which seems absurd, yet there it is.

How did I get to a place where that kind of money is in the mix? No idea. But I won't question it. I'll just move ahead, hope for the best, and keep writing, directing, producing, teaching. Being me.

I hope to travel more. Going to Edinburgh last summer reawakened my wanderlust. The world is not one oyster, but a constantly refilling, huge bowl full of them. And they come in all sizes, and flavors. And I am famished.

I hope to go to more theatre, see more movies, hear more music, hike more paths, dream more dreams.

And I hope to write on this blog at least once a week.

Okay. That's now a thing. I will write in this blog once a week.

I now go off to make breakfast, get ready for tech rehearsal, then work on script for new show about Shakespeare, then hopefully catch a few more episodes of The Offer, on Paramount, which is an amazing show and I encourage you all to watch it.

Here's a song. It's Northern Attitude by Noah Kahan & Hozier. I dig it. 

CRAZY, DAUNTING, AND PERFECT

So a while back, my good friend Tim, who I have known forever and who is one of the few people on this planet I trust completely without question, and someone whom I love completely, suggested we make some movies together. This sounded both crazy, daunting, and perfect. So I said yes. 

Or, to be more exact, "Fuck Yeah!" 

We had worked on many projects in the past, from a nine hour, three part  theatre adaptation of East of Eden at the Western Stage in Salinas to a production of Richard II in NYC to my first, and up to that point only, short film, Strong Tea. He was also the lead in my most successful play to date, Burning the Old Man.

That's us in the photo above. Back in the day. Young and crazy. NYC. Cigarettes and beers after a long day slinging hash between acting gigs. Having the time of our lives.

So, there we were having coffee at one of our haunts here in Denver, talking about life and theatre and film. Tim had just made a movie, Publish or Perish, that is kicking ass in the festival circuit and is now available to stream on Amazon. I was in the middle of yet another script- a pilot I was finishing before the deadline for the Austin Film Festival. And that's when Tim popped the question, so to speak.

Yes, I used the phrase "popped the question", the classic phrase for proposing marriage. Let's face it. Making a movie is a commitment up there with marriage. You pledge your heart and soul. For it to work, you have to bare your soul. Be vulnerable. Improvise when problems arise. Be flexible.

So he asked, I said yes, and then it was time to think of a project.

We wanted to make something that could be both a short, and also a proof of concept for a full length movie. And we wanted to take advantage of where we live, with all this natural beauty surrounding us. 

And Burning the Old Man popped up almost immediately.  A story about two estrange brothers taking their father's ashes on a road trip to Burning Man, as per his dying request. Their relationship with their father was difficult, and their relationship with each other even more so. As such, their road trip is full of recrimination, anxiety, and tension, with a tragic sense of loss tuck under a veneer of comedy.  Tim had played Marty, the older brother in the original play, and we both felt he should do so again. 

So I wrote up a script, we kicked it around,  adjusted the story as needed, gathered a crew of dedicated geniuses, and set some dates.

And the magic began. We kept having things happen that just seemed to be signs we were doing the right thing. A friend offered us a hotel up in the mountains to use as our base for the main stretch of shooting. Another friend just happened to live in that same area and offered to scout locations. 

And what locations! Colorado is so pretty, so majestic and huge and full of wonder. And most of the time,  I manage to not see it. But not on the shoot.

I really wanted to just talk about this one moment from the shoot today. It happened at there rocks in the high desert, during the climatic moment of the movie. These two brothers, who have been bickering like children for the past 24 hours, have ended up on this precipice, screaming at each other and having a tuh of war over the bag containing their father's ashes. As written, the bag rips open, the ashes fly, and the brother's dumbfounded at what their stupid fighting has wrought, stare at each other as their father's remains float away. 

On the day of the shoot, we were all a bit tired. We'd shot for 14 hours the day before. Drew, the actor playing Bobby, the younger brother, was not feeling well. Even so, we were all amped. We were making something that felt good, felt right. Felt like what we had all chosen to do with our lives. 

And we get to the scene. Now, to prefect, we had talked a lot about the brother's relationship the past few days. How underneath all the hurt and anger there was a deep love. A heartbroken love. A longing to connect like that had once been able to effortlessly but now seemed impossible. 

So we get to the big moment. The point when the bag rips and the ashes fly. 

The first take, a long shot, goes great. We get a safety shot, then move in for a closer shot. 

And when the bag rips, Drew almost falls off the rocks. For a moment, I think "Shit! I just killed Drew!" Everyone freezes.

Except Tim. 

He instinctively grabs Drew, pulls him up. And then, in character, Tim impulsively hugs Drew. Or rather, Marty impulsively hugs Bobby. We keep rolling. Nobody on set is making a sound. But we all feel connected to what is happening. Bobby tries to break free of the hug. Marty keeps hugging. It's really touching and sad and real. After a beat, Bobby hugs his brother back. 

And we all start hotting and hollering. Something had happened. Something unexpected but totally real. 

Then everyone looks at me. "Do we keep it?" they all ask, in various ways. It is quite different than the ending as written. Changes the trajectory a little. But it feels so right.

And I have to make a decision. It's my script. I'm co-director of this with Tim. Also co-producer. It's my call. 

And I go with it. Tweak the script slightly. 

We finish. And it is clear to me that the movie has now become more than it was. 

And that I am learning more than I could have possibly hoped for when we started making this movie.

Now we are in post. Editing. Mixing. All that type of thing. 

We hope to send it to festivals. To show it to some producers who will shower us with money so we can make the full length film.

But no matter what, I have gained from this experience. 

Here's a song. It's one of my all time favorites. Pale Green Things by The Mountain Goats. 

GROOVY, DROWSY CARNAGE- ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN COLORADO

We have a lot of fantastic theatre in Colorado. Which might sound surprising to people, seeing as we are a fairly small state, with a fairly small population. But that population is quite groovy. I was lucky enough to see four outstanding shows in the past month: Hair at Town Hall in Littleton, God of Carnage at the Curious Theatre, and both The Drowsy Chaperone and Jaques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris at the Fine Arts Center in Colorado Springs. All four shows were spectacular, and made me happy to be alive. Sometimes, you see a show, and it's bad. Really bad. And you sit there in your chair, which suddenly feels very uncomfortable, and words like "ponderous" keep floating to the surface of your slowly calcifying brain. But not so with these shows. I felt smarter after watching these shows. Better. Faster. Stronger.  It seemed as if my soul was being fed some sort of ambrosia that gave strength and courage. I believe that's what theatre, and art in general, is supposed to do, even if the subject is sad, gruesome, or horrifying: elevate your spirit, affirm to some degree what it is to be a human being, remind you that no one is alone.

HAIR was a joyous examination of the human spirit, with a solid cast, outstanding band, and rocking, show stopping numbers. GOD OF CARNAGE was wickedly funny, featuring four amazing actors- Karen Slack, Dee Convington, Erik Sandvold, and the always outstanding Timothy McCracken. THE DROWSY CHAPERONE might be the best musical I have seen so far in Colorado- the acting, singing, dancing, direction, design were all superb- and on top of that, Artistic Director Scott Levy stole the show as the Man in Chair. All those shows are closed- but you can still catch JACQUES BREL IS ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN PARIS, which is playing through this week-end. The show is more of a revue, a tribute to Belgian songwriter Jaques Brel. If you like smart, beautiful songs about life, love, war, peace, old people, young people- well, songs about what it is to be a human being- that are performed with grace, style and humor, then this show is for you. The cast of four- Halee Towne, Lacey Conell, Max Ferguson, and Alejandro Roldan- are exceptional performers, able to conjure entire worlds out of thin air. The show is directed/choreographed at a crackerjack pace by Nathan Halvorson. The band is out-friggin'-rageous. I would have been quite content to  listen to them play until the wee small hours of the morning. The design, as always at the Fine Arts Center, was excellent. If you can, get yourself down there to see yet another fine show at this gem of the Colorado theatre scene.

I myself have a new show opening this week-end- a new version of ROSE RED, which I wrote the book and co-wrote the lyrics for along with Kari Kraakevik, who did music and also co-wrote lyrics. The cast is amazing, the script streamlined, and we are premiering a new song. So, if you are in the Boulder area, please come see the show- which features some of the best young talent in the state.

And last, but not least, I hope you all take a gander at the indiegogo page for my movie Strong Tea. We just put up a new pitch video yesterday, and it's pretty damn funny. To see it, go HERE. If you like what you see- please throw in a couple of bucks, and share the site with all your friends via facebook, twitter, or whatever social media floats your boat. Thanks, and I'll see you at the theatre.

http://igg.me/at/strongtea/x/3385268

TITAN APPETITES

So I shot a short film, and now I am raising funds to finish it. The movie is STRONG TEA. It's a dark comedy about a really horrific family dinner. For whatever reason, most people seem to be able to relate to a Thanksgiving that ends up with screaming and yelling, hurt feelings, and awkward silences. It stars Timothy McCracken, Devon James, and Adrian Egolf. And they are amazing. The footage is so good, and what we have is, in my humble opinion, out of this world. Now, we need to edit, mix, add soundtrack, and then enter film festivals. And, of course, this takes some bucks. So I thought I'd share a little bit of the script, and then give you all the link to the Indiegogo site where you can help in two ways: by either contributing financially, or sharing the link via Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, etc. Naturally, I would love it if you could do both. But any and all help is greatly appreciated. So, here is a little taste of Strong Tea:


INT. KITCHEN - MINUTES LATER
ALVIE STANDS AT THE COUNTER, MAKING A POT OF TEA.  MOLLY ENTERS WITH SOME DISHES, WHICH SHE PLACES BY THE SINK.

MOLLY
I am stuffed.

Alvie looks at several pies laid out on the counter.

ALVIE
Do you think we’ll skip dessert?

MOLLY
We never skip dessert.

ALVIE
Never?

Molly dips her finger in a bowl of whipped cream.

MOLLY
We could each eat a pound of fried grease-

Molly smears some whipped cream Alvie’s cheek.

MOLLY (CONT’D)
Set a pie in front of us-

Molly licks the whipped cream off his face.

MOLLY (CONT’D)
We chow down.

Alvie nervously backs away from Molly.

ALVIE
Your family does have titan appetites.

Molly backs Alvie into a corner.

MOLLY
We like what we like.

Molly leans in very close to Alive, almost nose to nose.

MOLLY (CONT’D)
A lot.

Alvie maneuvers around Molly back to the tea kettle.

ALVIE
Molly, please. What happened was wrong.

Molly nods in agreement.

MOLLY
Yes it was. Fun, dirty and wrong. Of course- I have confessed our sin-

ALVIE
You confessed?!?!

MOLLY
To the Lord, and He has forgiven me.

Molly begins to pull dessert plates out of a cupboard.

ALVIE
The Lord has forgiven you, but not me?

Alvie grabs her by the shoulders.

ALVIE (CONT’D)
You were the one who got into the shower!

MOLLY
I was weak-

ALVIE
While my wife- your own sister- was out getting cigarettes.

Molly backs away from Alvie.

MOLLY
She promised us all she quit!


So that's a little bit of the script. I hope you liked it. Now, if you go HERE, you can see our Indiegogo page, and help make this movie a reality.