THE THIRD CLOWN

It's Valentine's Day. Day of love and chocolate and cards and kisses. And that is far out and groovy. I hope you all get some love, give some love, and bask in the glow of being alive in a world with other humans, music, theatre, movies, nature, and your own sweet self.

We are magic, strange beings, but I think we have potential.

I love the human race. I really do. 

I also find it very trying at times.

We do so many contradictory, fucked up, glorious things, on a regular basis. 

I often think of think of the opening monologue of my play Some Unfortunate Hour, where this guy named Tom bemoans the world, saying there are two choices for him: either be Asshole Happy Clown, who expects the worst from humanity and often gets it; or Idiot Sad Clown, who holds out great hope and is continually heartbroken.

Of course, there is a secret, third clown. 

The Balanced, Brilliant Clown.

That clown knows that we have our flaws, and a long history of terrible decisions. But she also knows that there is knowledge gained by those experiences. She knows that evolution is slow, but always happening. She doesn't believe in science. She knows science. She doesn't believe in magic. She is magic. She has found the great key to dealing with her fellow human beings: forgiveness.

And she is smart enough to know that forgiveness does not mean giving cruelty a free pass, or sitting idly by while atrocities are committed.

She is a warrior, a healer, and a mystic.

She is the Third Clown, and she is your spirit guide, waiting in the wings for you to make your entrance. 

I use the metaphor of waiting in the wings because it fits, but also because I took a really cool photo yesterday at the final performance of The Wizard of Oz I directed down at the PACE with my company Sasquatch Productions. There was this kid in the show who would watch as much of the show as she could when she wasn't on stage as a munchkin and/or poppy. She just loved the show so much, felt the magic so strongly, that she had to soak in as much as she could.

I would often see her, standing in the wings, reveling in the glory of being backstage during a performance, experiencing fully the show. So I took this photo:

There's a bit of the Third Clown in that. Hope and mystery and wonder.

So Happy Monday, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Third Clown Day.

If you feel so inclined, you can find the whole monologue, plus a few more of mine, in Contemporary Monologues for a New Theater, by clicking HERE.

I am off. Scripts, productions, and a house to clean this glorious day.

Here's a song. It's the English Beat doing a cover of Smokey Robinson's Tears of a Clown.

 

FINDING BIGFOOT

I am a geek- always have been, always will be.  I love Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings, and played Dungeons & Dragons a lot in high school.  I read comic books at the book store- and I mean comic books, as opposed to graphic novels (which I also read).  I always check to see what's on Discovery, History, Science and such in the hopes that some paranormal show will be on.  Sometimes I call myself a nerdling- part nerd, part halfling, all geek.  I don't know why, I just know that it is so.

Of late, one of my favorite shows to watch is Finding Bigfoot, a sort of reality show that I think might secretly be the latest product from Christopher Guest, the genius who gave us Waiting for Guffman.  It just seems a little too weird, and the people a little...well, let's just say they strain credulity.

The show follows the adventures of a supposedly real life field team for BFRO- which stands for Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization.  There are four researchers on the team, and they go from town to town, investigating sightings of Sasquatch, aka Bigfoot, or as they like to call him on the show, Squatch- which sounds to me like something that happens to you after eating too much spicy food.  "Are you ok in there?"  "No, I got a bad case of Squatch".  "Well, light a match when you're done".

The team consists of Matt Moneymaker, who reminds me of Corky from Waiting for Guffman; Bobo Fay- a big stoner who may or may not be part Squatch himself; Cliff Barackman, another Squatch enthusiast with slightly better hair than Mr. Moneymaker; and Ranae Holland- the kind of butch skeptic who might secretly be Jane Lynch.

It's awesome.

I mean, you do get the eye witness reports of sightings of the big guy, the occasional video of something in the distance that may or may not be an ape man, and all that good stuff.  But the real fun is the crew- how they talk about themselves, each other, and all things Squatch.  There's something sweet, and also very silly, about the team- sometimes they take themselves way too seriously, and there's a lot of bickering- but underneath all are these goofy people who want to find something mysterious out there in the world that can take our breath away.  I like that.

And I do believe in Bigfoot, UFO's, and the Loch Ness Monster.  I even saw a pair of ghosts once, which I will write about in a future blog.

Please don't forget to check out my plays available online at Indie Theater Now:  Last Call; Muse of Fire; Burning the Old Man; Some Unfortunate Hour; and Fenway: Last of the Bohemians.

Now go find some Squatch!

PUTOVANI S URNOU & JANUS

Two things to tell you about today.  First, a production of Burning the Old Man just opened in Pardubice, Czech Rebpublic, produced by Divadlo Exil.  This is the second production I've had done in the Czech Republic- and I am thrilled.  They have been fantastic, and by all accounts, the production is awesome.  Just check out this trailer they've made:

Burning the Old Man is probably my most successful play to date.  It won the 2005 NYIT Award for Outstanding Full Length Script, has been published by NYTE, Applause, and Smith & Kraus; and has been produced in Boomerang Theatre Company, Divadlo na Zabradli of Prague, and the aforementioned Divadlo Exil.  This past fall, Harvardwood did a reading of a screenplay based on the script, and it looks like there will be another production sometime this year in Brazil.

I am of course very proud of that.  I also encourage you to buy your own digital copy of it from Indie Theater Now, for about a buck fifty!

The second thing I want to tell you more about my play Some Unfortunate Hour- which is also available from Indie Theater Now for the same low price.  The play is a funny, savage, and sad story about love and desire and being lost.  There is a monologue at the end of the play that I think would be a great audition piece for an actress.  In it, Janus- the smart ass bartender, finally comes clean with how she feels to Tom, the guy who comes to her bar every night to complain about pretty much everything.  Janus has loved Tom for a long time, and they even made love one drunken evening.  But she has never told him the depth of her feelings- hoping that he would figure things out and come to her.  Here's the monologue, with a little bit of Tom.  I hope you dig it:

JANUS

You are such a fucking stupid asshole!  Just shut up and let it go.  Come over tonight.  Come home.  You can just sleep.  I don't care.  I'll take care of you tonight.  You owe me that much.

 TOM

What do you mean, I owe you?

 JANUS

I love you, you stupid son of a bitch!  Okay?  Get it?  You're it.  What did you just say about love?  I care about you more than anything in the world, mother fucker.  In the entire world.  Me.  Anything.  Including- especially me!  I worship you. I don't know why- you're an asshole. But I do.  I fucking hate it, but I absolutely adore you.  We're meant for each other, you stupid motherfucker.  Open your eyes!  Who listens to your crazy shit?  Who takes care of you?  Who was there when the shit hit the fan and your so called friends couldn't be bothered?  Me, you colossal asshole! I'm good for you.  God damn it, I'm fucking great for you, and you know it!  You know I am.  I'm hope.  I'm your only fucking hope, you stupid asshole!  Grow a pair, you fucking Mary!  Oh my fucking God!  God Damn you!  You parade your stupid shit, your bullshit little boy bullshit, in front of my face like I'm not there.  Do I like her line?  Do I like her fucking line?  Fuck you!  Fuck you twice and stick it in your ass.  You're hurting me.  I fucking hurt.  We were good that time.  We were! How can we have had that and not be? You cried on my stomach!  You cried on my stomach and I knew.  I saw it clearly.  I'm- I'm home.  I'm your home.  Let me be your home.  I love you.

 TOM

(pause) I know.

 JANUS

Why can't I be your home?  Why can't you come home?  Tell me.  Tell me right fucking now!

Well, that's all I have to say.

Now GET YOUR THEATRE ON