DID YOU STICK HER IN THE TRUNK?

Madeline Island, part of the Apostle Islands of Lake Superior. The Witching Hour. Moon and Alma have summoned Whiz, a ghost- who has knocked out Moon and cast a spell on Alma. For more, see previous posts.

ALMA

(dreamily) Where’d that car come from? It’s beautiful. (shivers) It’s freezing.

Whiz takes off her jacket, puts it on Alma, who is clearly dazed and confused.

ALMA (cont’d)

Thanks. Hey! Let’s take a ride. I got to get in that car- it’ll take me where I need to go- won’t it? Won’t it, lady? Why don’t you talk? Well, whatever. I’m getting in the car, and going where I’m going, and you need to come with me. Don’t ask me why I know, I just do. So come on!

Alma runs off. After a moment, we hear the phantom car peel out and drive off. Moon groans, sits up.

MOON

What happened? (looks around) Where’s Alma?

Whiz shrugs, looks over at the trunk.

MOON (cont’d)

Did you stick her in the trunk? What is wrong with you, lady? I swear to God, if you hurt her-

Moon runs over to the trunk, looks in.

MOON (cont’d)

What the...what is that? Is that...Holy Crap..it is, isn’t it? Hello? Not the chatty type, are you? Well, listen up, Spooky- this trunk is mine. I found it, fair and square, and everything inside of it is mine. And I am taking that- (points into trunk)- and then you’re telling me where Alma is. Or I’m calling the cops! Got it?

Moon reaches into the trunk, tries to pull something out, but it’s stuck.

MOON (cont’d)

What is this, super-glued in there or something? (pulls harder) Come on, come to daddy! (pulls harder, then climbs into the trunk to get better footing) Ow! Something bit me! Damn it! (tries again to pull the thing loose) Ow! Bit me again!

Moon kneels deeper in the trunk, trying to pry whatever it is loose. As he does, Whiz walks over and slams the lid shut.

MOON (cont’d)

Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Open up! Hello? Lady? Come on, let me out! Oh my God, it stinks in here! Hello? Lady? Listen, I won’t call the cops, okay? Just let me out of here! Lady? Hey! Let me out, or I swear to God I will kick your ass! I am not kidding! You are in for a world of hurt! Lady? Let me out of here!

The phantom car is heard pulling up, and a car door is heard opening and closing.

MOON (cont’d)

Hello? Hey, over here! Anyone? Hello!!! This crazy lady has locked me in this trunk.! Hello? Help!

After a beat, Alma runs on.

ALMA

Are you coming or not?

MOON

Alma? Alma! I’m in the trunk! The crazy lady locked me in here! Alma, you won’t believe what I got in here! It’s awesome! Come on, baby- get me out of here, and our troubles are over!

ALMA

(to Whiz) Lady, I am heading out in my new ride. And you’re coming with me, and I’m gonna film the whole thing on my Android. It’s gonna be like Thelma and Louise meet Ghost Hunters meet NASCAR. It’s perfect.

MOON

Alma! Can’t you hear me? I’m in the trunk!

Whiz walks to Alma, and they start to leave.

ALMA

Wait...I’m forgetting something.

MOON

Me! You’re forgetting me, Alma! Get me out of here!

ALMA

Something...I don’t know...

MOON

Moon! Me! You’re boyfriend!

ALMA

You ever have something right on the tip of your tongue but you can’t place it?

MOON

Alma!

ALMA

I’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night and remember. Come on!

Alma and Whiz walks off. After a moment, the phantom car is heard peeling out and driving off.

MOON

Hello? Hello!?! Get me out of here!

Moon kicks from inside the trunk, as the lights fade.

You can find more of my stuff here.

DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOUR ASS (HONEYBOY PART 4)

In the middle of the night, on an abandoned race track, Alma and Moon are trying to raise a spirit from the dead. A strange woman has just popped out of a seemingly empty trunk. (see previous posts for more)

MOON

Uh, Alma?

ALMA

Go away, Moon!

MOON

Alma!

ALMA

What?!?!

Alma turns, sees Whiz.

ALMA (cont’d)

Uh, excuse me, lady...but we’re shooting a tv show here, and it’s a closed set. Not open to the public. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Please step out of the trunk.

Whiz stares at Alma, then at Moon.

ALMA (cont’d)

Hello? Closed set. Get out of the trunk.

Whiz slowly steps out of trunk, walks over to Moon.

ALMA (cont’d)

Thank you. In a few months, you’ll be able to see this on one of your basic cable channels.

Whiz grabs Moon by the front of his shirt, pulls him to her. She smells his face, runs her hands across his back, then kisses him full on the mouth. 

ALMA (cont’d)

Hey!

At first, Moon resists, then kisses Whiz back. Abruptly, he falls to the ground, unconscious.

ALMA (cont’d)

Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?

Whiz begins to slowly circle Alma.

ALMA (cont’d)

Fair warning- I know Tae Kwan Do. Kee-Yah!

Alma strikes a ridiculous martial arts pose. Whiz stops.

ALMA (cont’d)

Scares you, doesn’t it? Now I don’t want to hurt you, and you don’t want to be hurt, so let’s all chill and figure out what’s what. First, who the hell are you?

Whiz takes a step towards Alma.

ALMA (cont’d)

Easy, lady. Don’t make me kick your ass.

Alma takes a swing at Whiz. Whiz grabs Alma’s hand easily. Alma drops to her knees as if struck with a bolt of lightening. Whiz kneels in front of her, takes Alma’s face in her hands, then kisses her. The phantom sound of a single car roars offstage. Alma stands, looks off.

ALMA (cont’d)

(dreamily) Where’d that car come from?

...To Be Continued.