FORTUNE FAVORS THOSE WHO SAY FUCK IT

Ah, Friday. End of the week, even if you work all week end. It just has that feel to it. And yet, work work work. I'm feeling a little tired, a little cranky, and little in need of a little more coffee.

And also need to stop using the word little, at least for the next few paragraphs.

I listen to a lot of podcasts of late. Mostly about screenwriting. There's a lot out there. Some are better than others, some resonate, while some just come off as people trying to sell me something.

My favorites, in no particular order, are The Screenwriting Life; ScriptNotes; On Story; and Write Your Screenplay. They each have a distinct tone, and I often find what they have to say useful for my writing. On top of that, the hosts are funny, smart people who I enjoy listening to as they discuss the craft and also the day to day business of being alive. 

The Screenwriting Life (TSL) the other day had an episode that included the all important idea of being able to say "Fuck it". When you are nervous. When you're shooting for the stars. When you're playing baseball, or pitching an idea, or basically taking any sort of risk.

Great advice, something I have found works. It's not always easy to do, and fear is relentless. There is always a reason to doubt, to remain silent, to shut down. Most often, those reasons are bullshit, but there they are, manifested in our imagination and quite unwilling to leave peacefully.

But somehow, when we manage to say Fuck It and go for whatever it is, those fears crumble, dissipate into mist, and vanish, and we stand there, amazed at ourselves for having taken that risk, and feeling like that was way easier than we thought it would be.

I don't always manage to say Fuck It. But I try. 

Today, I have a rather big Zoom meeting with some important folks about funding a new theatre project that would be a dream come true. I don't know what will come of the meeting, but I am fairly certain that one of the main reasons it's happening is because I said Fuck It, and pitched the idea to one of the theatres I work at, and then to a friend with connections, and so on. And then I have another Zoom meeting. about another theatre venture going up this summer as well. That one is the result of a writer I know who also decided to say Fuck It and get his play produced. 

Fortune favors the bold, and those who say Fuck It.

Yes, Fuck is a bad word, and throws some people off. That's why I usually say it to myself in my head, and not out loud. 

Sometimes it slips out. I have a habit of blurting out what's on my mind, and I think that might upset some folks. But it's how I'm wired, and has been since I was a kid. In fact, one of the first big Fuck Its I said was when I first stood up to my step-father, a very sad man who happened to be an alcoholic and quite scary when he drank. 

It was scary.  I think I had simply reached a point where if he killed me, I didn't care. I just couldn't take it anymore. 

Happily, most Fuck Its don't involve risking your personal safety, and I am not saying it's a good thing to say when you're on the Golden Gate Bridge and wondering if you could survive jumping off. That's not saying Fuck It. That's saying I'm Crazy.

Don't do that.

Do take risks. Even if you think you will fail.

Say Fuck It this Friday. Tell that person you like them. Tell your boss they need to give you a raise. Apply for that better job. Have that Zoom meeting. Have two. 

Just say Fuck It. Life is too short not to swear in public now and then.

Here's a song. It's Salute Your Solution by The Raconteurs. I dig it. 

THE SCREENWRITING LIFE

Monday morning, voice a little scraggy, eyes a little bleary, heart full of joy, brain full of conversations, pockets & desktop & backpack full of business cards from fellow screenwriters. The panels here at the Austin Film Festival are for the most part over, and now it's all about going over notes, sending follow up emails, and seeing movies. I slept for over six hours last night, which feels like a week of slumber. 

Last panel I went to yesterday was called "What Next?". Good title, better question. I've spent the past four or five days (time is even loopier here than it has been the past two years) meeting so many people, making so many connections, having so many new ideas. The panel consisted of Matt Dy, who used to run the competition for AFF and is now an agent Lit; Ashely Miller, who is hilarious and wrote Thor, X-Men First Class, and tons more; and Chuck Hayward, who is the nicest, coolest guy and wrote on WandaVision,  Dear White People, and now Ted Lasso. The way panels work is the first section is a moderated conversation about a given subject, then about fifteen minutes of audience questions, then the braver or more pushy rush the stage and ask more questions on a one-on-one basis. 

I was one of the pushy ones, and managed to talk with all three. I asked Ashely Miller about animating sequences in a hybrid script, which was helpful not only in the info he provided, but in how he responded in general to my idea. I talked with Matt Dy about query letters and what to put in them, and that led to me for sure writing a few of those this morning; and then I talked with Chuck Hayward about life, movies, and all sorts of things. I had seen him in an earlier panel, and we hit it off afterwards. Sometimes, you strike up a conversation with someone and it just clicks and you think "I really like just shooting the breeze with this guy". Both times I spoke with Chuck it was like that. Easy and fun. 

Lessons from that: Don't be afraid to approach people you want to talk with; and when you get over your fear and do approach them, just be yourself and realize everyone is a fellow human, not some deity to be fawned over. It makes for better chats and a happier experience for all parties.

Another cool/crazy/exciting thing happened to me here the other day. I went to a panel called The Screenwriting Life, which featured Meg LeFauve and Lorien McKenna. The title of the panel is also the title of their podcast. As we stood in line, LeFauve came out and asked if anyone wanted to be featured in their presentation, and the whole panel was going to be recorded for their podcast. There were about two hundred people in line, but I figured what the hell, so I raised my hand along with most everyone else, we signed some release forms and in we went. The panel began, and it came time to draw names out of a hat. First person called up was this guy who had interesting idea he wanted to kick around. It was really cool to watch Meg and Lorien discuss his work, as they are both so smart and insightful and kind. Then they pulled the second name. Lorien pulled out a sheet, looked at it, couldn't read it because of the bad hand writing. And I knew it would be mine, as I have shockingly terrible hand-writing. "I think this says Robert... something... McAllister?". And up I went. 

It was sort of an out-of-body experience. First, they had me give the basic plot of my script, The Belvedere Jungle. Then we dug in. It felt amazing, their ideas and questions perfect, and the response from the crowd felt like this warm wave of love. To use one of my favorite words, it was Groovy. After me,  young writer named Peyton, who is amazing and I am sure will sign with some manager soon, went up. And then it was over. In typical AFF fashion, Peyton and I are now AFF friends. We traded cards, chatted after the panel and several more times throughout the festival. And I've made many friends here like that. 

I think that is the greatest aspect of this festival. The connections you make. Not just in the business sense, which is great, but in the human sense. In the "I am a writer and I love movies and you do too? Wow! What are you working on, how's it going, what have you seen, where is the nearest coffee shop" kind of way. Speaking of that, I'm sitting in The Hideout on Congress between 6th and 7th in Austin right now, and I must order a latte for Lisa, and run off, and listen to the podcast, which just dropped. 

More stories of the AFF to come.

Here's not a song, but the episode of The Screenwriting Life I am on. 

https://anchor.fm/thescreenwritinglife/episodes/64--LIVE-From-The-Austin-Film-Festival-Story-Workshop-e198gfc/a-a54lnfh

DFWTNOM IS COMING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

It's Monday morning, cold as can be here in Denver, like in the teens cold, and I've already taken a long walk, made a post office run, and now am back in the joyously heated house, listening to the first stab at a podcast I am working on with my friend Craig Nobbs tentatively titled DFWTNOM. 

I talk a lot. 

The format we are going for is a back and forth conversation between two friends who are both writers discussing current events, projects, shows we like, and so on. I think it works for our particular personalities, and am excited about where it will go. But as I listen to myself, I am astounded at how much I can go on about things. And how poor a listener I can be. No doubt part of this is due to me wanting to do well, to cover my half of the lifting for the podcast, to come off as someone worth listening to for a half hour or so.

But holy shit, do I go on. 

Part of that is good, I think. I have a rather stream-of-consciousness approach to life, and to conversation, and I think/hope that gives what I say a veracity and specificity. But at the same time, I think maybe I could and should edit myself a bit more. 

So look for DFWTNOM wherever you download podcasts soon.

Also, the Super Bowl kind of sucked.

I think it is so long and so bloated and so desperate to feel like it used to but hasn't in a long time. Each year, the half time show seems to get longer and more convoluted. More determined to be that much bigger than the previous year. Each year, the commercials get a little more obnoxious. Not that there weren't some cool things, some moments that really were entertaining and possibly up lifting. But a lot of it felt tired. 

And I think we have all felt tired enough of late.

Maybe my priorities have just changed from the last year. Maybe I don't really cared as much about the NFL as I used to. Maybe I am hungry for more satisfying material.

I've started watching more movies again. This past week end I watch The Trial of the Chicago 7 and also Ma Rainey's Black Bottom.

Both films were awesome, exciting, thought provoking, emotionally fulfilling, and cool. They fed my soul, and I dug that.

More soul food, less junk food please. More stories that help me interact with the world, less stories that are designed to placate me. 

More.

Here's a song. It's Talk, Talk, by Talk Talk. Enjoy. And don't forget: DFWTNOM.