MY PERMANENT COSTUME

Halloween is almost here. My favorite time of year. Crisp skies, leaves changing color, lots of monster movies, what's not to love? On top of that, the Giants are in the playoffs, going up against their ancient rivals, the Dodgers. Among the things I miss the most about being a kid, I miss Halloween and trick-r-treating. We'd cover a huge area in San Jose back then, and I would fill at least three pillow cases with candy by the end of the night, then go home, divide the goods up, trade with my fellow ghouls, and stay up late watching Creature Features. In my mind, every Halloween was on a Friday or Saturday, every time the weather was perfect, and the candy bars were all full size. 

What is it about dressing up and acting like a monster, vampire, zombie, pirate, and so on that is so satisfying? Wish fulfillment? Escape? Madness?

Now, way way back, I also thought the Moon was full of green werewolves with bat wings for ears and that when said Moon was full, they'd fly out, coming down to Earth to dine on anyone fool enough to be outside. On top of that, the Boogie Man lived up there too. In my mind, the Boogie Man was a psychotic variation on Chef Boy-ar-dee, with a huge butcher knife, but he would come out from mirrors, so those were to be avoided.

I had some issues, I suppose.

Still, I'd like to go trick-r-treating in that far away land of Back Then. 

I think my writing is all an attempt to do just that. To fill the world with absurd monsters, plucky young heroes, and candy. I did this Twitter thing today, called ScreenPit, where you tweet out a logline for a movie or limited series of TV pilot. My four tweets were:

Kelly McAllister

@rkmcallister

·

3h

AMERICAN SPIRITS When her two best friends drastically change overnight, an idealistic young woman is drawn into a paranormal mystery surrounding a dark force taking over her hometown.

BOOGIE MAN A deaf woman who can communicate with the dead teams up with an obnoxious Paranormal Reality TV host to fight a homicidal ghost.

BURNING THE OLD MAN While taking their father’s ashes to Burning Man, a high strung young man and his estranged brother break down in the desert and are forced to confront their complicated past.

THE BELVEDERE JUNGLE Coming of age story of a gifted boy who escapes into wild fantasies to escape his dysfunctional, alcoholic home. Notice a trend? Everything is either a scary movie or someone trying to fix the past.

They say as a writer, you need to find your voice. My voice is a wolf howling Angry Young Man by Styx, in monotone.

Oh! Speaking of writing, I was working on Belvedere Jungle, going over the story arc, them, tone, and all that. When I write, I do a lot of rewrites, which usually involves lots of staring at the screen, listening to music, staring at the screen, cleaning the house, staring at the screen, reading a new book, and staring at the screen. And now and then, some actual writing.

So, I'm doing just that, and for some reason I decide to finally read Doctor Sleep. And the first thing in it, the first damn thing, is a quote about letting go of anger. Which is basically what the main character in Belvedere Jungle learns to do over the course of the story. It seems not like such a big deal now that I write it down, but at the time it seemed to me a sign from the Writing Gods that I was on the right path, I was where I needed to be, and all we well.

I am a magic thinker. A fool. Me.

Still, I do take it as a sign, silly as that may sound. I have chosen the Foolish Magic Thinker for my permanent costume, so what else can I do?

I hope you have chosen yourself a good costume as well. One that thrills you, at times frustrates you, but that fits you like a glove and brings joy to your weary heart on those long days that always manage to find you.

And that you avoid mirrors and green werewolves when the moon is full.

Here's a song. It's a cover of Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London by Reina del Cid & Toni Lindgren. Hope you dig it. And if you do the Twitter thing, go and give my tweets some love.

MEET THE BRIDE

So. Many things going on in my life. Which is how I like it. I am working on a pilot for a show. Working title: Boogie Man. It's a paranormal series loosely connected to another project I am working on about Edgar Cayce. The pilot should be done soon, and sent to some folks who might be able to do something with it.

I would love to hear what folks think, so below is a sample scene. Please, comment on it, tell me you love it; you hate it; that it reminded you of a childhood experience. I am ready for all slings and arrows.  

Just read it.

I title my scenes, as well as episodes. This one is called Meet the Bride.

EXT. CAMP SITE IN THE FOREST - EARLY MORNING

A hip young family are preparing breakfast on their up to date camping gear, dressed perfectly. Beautiful young MOTHER gathers dead wood for the fire, while FATHER makes healthy breakfast. Their three children run around the camp site playing tag.

MOTHER

Is running around like that a good choice? Why don’t you take in nature and its beauty?

The three kids- SCOUT, 9; WYATT, 7; and WENDY, 5- look at Mother like she’s nuts. Father, who is stirring eggs in a bowl, looks over from camping stove.

FATHER

I need some sous-chefs to help with this scramble. Scout, you strip the thyme. Wyatt, go fill the water filter.

Wendy waits for her job. None is assigned.

WENDY

What about me?

MOTHER

Why don’t you get out some water colors and paint what you see?

Wendy frowns at this idea, but walks to her tent to get the water colors anyway.

MOTHER (CONT’D)

And zip up your new coat. It’s cold.

WENDY

I don’t want to.

MOTHER

Duly noted. Now zip.

Wendy sullenly zips up her coat, mutters to herself.

WENDY

I hate this coat.

Wendy trudges towards her tent. A rabbit pops out of the brush, crosses her path, and disappears up a trail. Excited, Wendy runs after it. Before either parent notices, Wyatt drops the water filter. It hits a rock and shatters.

MOTHER

God damn it, Wyatt!

Scout turns quickly from stripping the thyme to see what has happened, knocking over the bowl with the eggs in it.

FATHER

Scout!

Wendy runs down the trail after the rabbit.

EXT. ABOVE THE FALLS - MINUTES LATER

An outcropping of rock above Cumberland Falls. The rabbit from previous scene runs out of the woods, vanishes up a path. After a beat, Wendy runs out of the woods. She looks left and right. The rabbit is nowhere to be seen.

Wendy notices the edge of the cliff overlooking the falls, is immediately entranced. She walks to the edge, looks over. It is a long drop to the water below. Wendy picks up a rock and drops it over the edge of the cliff. The rock disappears into the mist of the falls.

 
This delights her. She looks around for other things to throw. She hurls another rock. She unzips her coat, breaks a twig off a bush throws it over the cliff. Then she sees some wild flowers, pulls up a bunch, and tosses them one by one.

Wendy suddenly gets a wicked idea, and takes off her coat, but before she can throw it over the cliff, a shadow crosses her path.

Wendy turns to see the BRIDE standing just a few feet from her. The Bride stares at Wendy with a look of deep sorrow.

WENDY

Hello.

The Bride continues to stare at Wendy. The Bride’s gaze falls on Wendy’s coat. Wendy notices this.

WENDY (CONT’D)

I wasn’t going to throw it.

The Bride continues to stare.

WENDY (CONT’D)

Please don’t tell my mom.

The Bride steps up to Wendy, looking confused. Wendy takes the Bride’s hand.

WENDY (CONT’D)

Want to throw stuff into the water?

Wendy leads the Bride to some flowers, picks a few, hands one to the Bride, then Wendy runs to the edge of the cliff.

WENDY (CONT’D)

It’s fun.

Wendy throws her flowers over the cliff, turns back to the Bride.

WENDY (CONT’D)

See?

The Bride walks to Wendy, falls to her knees, begins to weep.

WENDY (CONT’D)

Don’t cry. They’re just flowers.

The Bride grabs Wendy in a fierce hug, lifting her off the ground, walks to the edge of the cliff.
Wendy, still in the Bride’s arms, looks down to the falls.

WENDY (CONT’D)

Isn’t it pretty?

The expression on the Bride’s face changes from sorrow to determination. She places Wendy back on the ground, walks to the very edge of the cliff, smiles at Wendy, then slowly leans backwards, falling over the cliff into the falls below.

Wendy cautiously makes her way to the edge of the cliff and looks over.

All she can see is the roaring waterfall, fierce and magnificent.

Wendy turns away from the falls.

The Bride is standing at the edge of the woods, just as before, staring at Wendy.

 

 

That's it. I hope you dig it.

TV MADE ME A CRYPTOZOOLOGIST

When I was a kid, I wanted- more than anything else- to see something supernatural. A ghost, Bigfoot, a UFO. Something.  At night, I would scan the skies. When camping, I would listen keenly for something large lumbering through the Sierra Nevada.

I blame TV.

Every Friday night, on KTVU Channel 2- which at the time was what we used to call an independent station- there was a show called Creature Features, hosted by Bob Wilkins. Creature Features was a double feature of horror movies hosted by Mr. Wilkins; who always provided a mix of wry commentary and cool info, things to notice in whatever movie we watched, and so on. I saw all the classic horror flicks, along with lots of not-so-classic ones. A typical evening's fare would be Frankenstein, followed by House of Frankenstein. Or Them! followed by Tarantula. Usually there would be a thematic link between the two. The big goal when watching Creature Features was to stay awake to the end of the second feature, which would usually end at around two in the morning. Not always easy to do, but I tried. This show was the must-have-on-in-the-background for any sleepover or slumber party. By third grade, I was well versed in vampires, mad scientists, demons, and all things that go bump boom bang in the night.

One movie that caught my imagination was The Legend of Boggy Creek- a sort of documentary about a sort of Bigfoot that was sort of scary. But the idea of an unexplained beast roaming the land was beyond exhilarating to me. I remember, clear as a bell, discussing the film with my friend Noel during recess at Strawberry Park Elementary. There was no doubt in either of our minds that the beast existed- that was a given. I think the scene that both amused and terrified us the most was the one where the monster was trying to break into this one guy's house while he was sitting on the toilet. How many films are there that are educational, frightening, and hilarious? Truly, this was one for the ages- a film destined to be spoken of with reverence. All I wanted to do after watching that flick was get myself a movie camera and a van and get myself to Boggy Creek to investigate this thing. Being around nine, this wasn't plausible, so I had to content myself with research at the local branch of the public library- a small building nestled between an ancient barn that had been abandoned for as long as anyone could remember, and a peach orchard. It had that funky architecture style so common in the early 1970's- a hybrid of ugly and Frank Lloyd Wright. It also had a whole set of shelves with books dedicated to the paranormal. I remember reading most of The Mothman Prophecies there one afternoon. There were lots of other books, with photos of ghosts, UFO's, and the Loch Ness Monster. I loved them all.

And then there was a documentary on regular tv, hosted by Rod Serling. It was called Monsters! Mysteries or Myths? This was the first "serious" documentary about aliens, Bigfoot, and Nessie every shown on national tv. And it was a huge hit, and paved the way for such shows as In Search of..., which in turn led us to such fare as Monsterquest and, my current favorite, Finding Bigfoot.

I love Bigfoot. I love Sasquatch, Yeti, the Ohio Grassman. Whatever you want to call it. I love the unknown, the unexplained, and things from somewhere else. My latest script is a pilot for a tv series about an unlikely pair who investigate the great mysteries of America. What a shock.

I even made a mockumentary, highly inspired by Finding Bigfoot, while in Wisconsin. Here are the results. (my beautiful co-star is my wife Lisa)

 

 

But wait, there's more:

 

 



And that's about all I have to say about that.

For the moment.

A NUMINOUS BOOGIE MAN

I'm working on a new script- a pilot for a tv series that for the moment I am calling Boogie Man. It's a  character driven paranormal show that examines America through our many myths and legends. Let's face it- we love horror. There is a reason that thrillers are the most greenlit movies out there. They make money! Hand over fist, day after day, year after year, we fork over our hard earned, meager wages to watch ghosts and ghouls and creepy dolls terrorize what we pretend are average Americans. It is what we do, for the most part.



Don't like scary movies- that's cool, but I hope you realize you are in the minority. And kind of un-American.

One of the things I like about being scared is the rush- the adrenaline ka-pow! feeling when the clown attacks from under the bed, or the decapitated head pops out of the boat. That immediate, in-the-moment realization that for a least this second, I am alive and fear for my life. And then I get the added bonus of realizing that I am in a theatre, or in front of our tv, and not going to be eaten by a zombie anytime soon.

But I think there's more. It seems to me that we recreate our own mythology on a constant basis, a pantheon filled with the likes of Jason and Saw and voracious aliens and gigantic dinosaurs.  We have to- we need to have the Unknown, the mystical, the I don't-what-the-hell-that-is-but-I-know-it's-there feeling. We need the dark. There is something magic, something Other in the dark- and I dig that the most. The Other. The magical things, that fill us with wonder for reasons we can't really explain but remind us there are more things in heaven and Earth than our little lives. I want to make stories that not only terrify, but also remind us of the majesty and mystery of this big freak out called life. I want the numinous.

This is clear if you look at anything I've written. I have ghosts, muses, a woman with a psychic sense of smell, and the trickster god Raven, among other things, in my plays. I am a magic realist. Or, as they call me in Brazil, a poetic realist. (you can find out more about my plays by clicking here or here)

I also want the comical. I want Cabin in the Woods, and the original Evil Dead films. I want people like Tobe Hooper and Stephen King and Kurt Vonnegut to shake me up. I want a horror story where suddenly werewolves are singing Good Morning Starshine on rooftops and it makes complete sense. I want the wide open sky to fill with demons, and the land to be covered with aliens, and then have it be like a huge middle school dance, with nobody dancing and everyone watching everyone else with a mix of desire and contempt.

Anyhow.

Here's what I have for the show. Jack Cro'Haven is the obnoxious host of a paranormal reality series called Boogie Man. In the pilot, a young gay couple are killed by the Ghost Bride of Cumberland Falls- a real life legend in Kentucky. The Boogie Man show investigates. Jack and his crew hold a town meeting, just like they do in every episode of Finding Bigfoot. During the time meeting, Jack meets Casey, a deeply religious, painfully shy young woman who, quite unbeknownst to herself, has amazing psychic abilities. At the same time, a bunch of fanatics similar to those morons who go to soldier funerals with signs that say things like "God hates fags" shows up and do what they do. Things get ugly. Beliefs are tested, shook up, shattered, and put back together. Casey has her world shaken up by Jack. Jack is given a glimpse of the numinous by Casey. By the end of the episode, the murder is, if not solved, dealt with as best as can be. Jack and Casey set off to see what more they can do for each other, and what other monsters, myths, and legends they can explore.

It might be great. It might suck. But I'm in.

PS- if you are a studio executive reading this- contact me immediately and start paying me money for this stuff. I will be able to write more often if I get paid for it.