THANKS, I NEEDED THAT

I think we all needed yesterday. I didn't realize how badly I needed to cry and laugh and cry some more. To hug my wife with joy. To dance in front of the TV. To cry yet again. To hear Amanda Gorman and see a star land on Earth. The whole thing, the inauguration, lifted up the nation, I think. It lifted up the world. Somehow, we dodged a bullet, and got through the last four years. 

Well, not somehow. We worked our asses off. We marched. We called our senators and representatives, over and over. We watched far too much MSNBC and CNN. We got into it on Facebook with our relatives and friends who bought into the Trump mythos. We took back the house in 2018. We kept on trying. 

And when the Pandemic came, we rose to the occasion as best we could, redoubled our efforts to change the minds of our friends who somehow bought into conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory. We read opinion pieces all the way through. We wore masks. We howled nightly. 

We did what we had to do. 

And we found strength we didn't know we had. Resolve hiding beneath our shockingly thin veneer. Some of us smoked a lot of weed. Or drank a lot of booze. Or wrote in a blog every damn day for months on end. We gave money to campaigns for the first time in our lives. And then gave more. We wrote postcards. We did whatever we had to do to make sure we could have a different President.

And we got the job done.

Yeah, we still have plenty of relatives and friends who think differently.

But not as many as we did before January 6. 

I think that sort of woke up some of them. How could it not? Still, far too many out there still buy the Big Lie. Still think the election was stolen from them. And we need to fix that.

But yesterday, for a brief moment, we were allowed to rejoice. To dance in the streets. To explode with glee like giddy children at fireworks over our nation's capitol. To say to ourselves "damn, that Katy Perry song is pretty awesome!" without a hint of irony. 

I want to feel like that more often. I want to be proud of humanity on a regular basis. I want to be lifted up, and I want to lift up others. I want to sing all day, and recite poetry, and dance.

I think we will need to keep our new found habits of staying involved. Of not letting a lie from a friend go without challenging it, in as respectful and courteous a way possible. 

We still have this pandemic. And global warming. And systemic racism. And income inequality. 

But we have the power to change this world. And don't ever let anyone tell you different. Those that say otherwise are usually either hoping to shut down said change, or they've given up and are ashamed of themselves, and rather than face that shame, they try to pull you down to their level.

Hell with that. 

We rise up. We sing. We marvel at music and kindness and love and unity and poetry. 

The toxins are leaving our souls. We are healing, and will continue to heal. 

And it will get better. I have no illusions there will be hard times ahead. And sorrow, and grief, and anger. I am certain I will write more entries about how fucked up the world can be, about how shallow and nasty people can be. How disappointing life can get. I have had enough hard times to know that. But they will pass. It all passes, eventually. 

Except love.

It is love that endures. 

I know it. I feel it in my bones. I think yesterday, we all felt it.

Here's a song. It's Katy Perry's Fireworks. 

WHAT NOW?

The hits keep coming, don't they? I am tired from the past few days. Feel like I've watched news non-stop for most of my life now. In the spring, which feels so far away, so not part of this reality anymore, I remember feeling a sense of dread every time I got a notification on my phone. What new horror was happening, I'd think. 

I feel that way again.

I think we are all still processing the events of this past week. Well, of this whole election. Of the past four plus years. There is something wrong going on here in the USA. More so than usual. If this were a Greek play, we'd be in the opening sequence, talking about how the Gods are angry, how there must be blood in the land, and sins to atone for before the bad times depart. 

It feels like the streets are full of Flat Earthers on steroids.

Or being at a party stuck with a slightly drunk fellow party goer who is hell bent on explaining to you their theory about what really happened at the end of Lost, and you just smoked a joint so it feels like every second is about an hour.

Or one of those dreams where you realize you are dreaming but can't make yourself wake up, even though the dream is horrifying.

Choose our poison.

We are being tested, daily. Our values, our thoughts, our hopes, our dreams... our priorities. Do we believe in science? Do we question authority? Do we look beyond the internet for reality? Is our society working properly? Do we really love our neighbors as ourselves? 

Do we have the courage needed to hold to our convictions?

I hope so. 

It just seems like everyone is choosing their path. Some people I know have become even more amazing, loving, kind, thoughtful, and inspiring. Others have gone to the dark side, if what they post online is to be believed. 

And a crowd of angry Americans stormed the capitol, and a few of them beat a man to death with a fire extinguisher. 

That is fucked up and sad.

So. What to do? I am not sure. But I do believe one hundred percent that this is the time to love this earth, this life, our fellow human beings, and all things great and small. This is a time we must listen to music, dance in the streets, smell the roses and the coffee, and celebrate being alive. 

If the world is ending, take it all in before it goes.

I plan on writing in this blog more. It helped me during the early phase of the virus, and it helps me now. If it helps you too, awesome. I will still keep watching the news. I will still get into spats on social media with folks who think differently from me. I will have good days and bad days. 

But I will go on. We all will. 

Glory, hallelujah, nameste.

Here's a song. It's a live version of Fleetwood Mac's Rhiannon.