Showing posts from October, 2013


Madeline Island, part of the Apostle Islands of Lake Superior. The Witching Hour. Moon and Alma have summoned Whiz, a ghost- who has knocked out Moon and cast a spell on Alma. For more, see previous posts.

ALMA (dreamily) Where’d that car come from? It’s beautiful. (shivers) It’s freezing.

Whiz takes off her jacket, puts it on Alma, who is clearly dazed and confused.

ALMA (cont’d) Thanks. Hey! Let’s take a ride. I got to get in that car- it’ll take me where I need to go- won’t it? Won’t it, lady? Why don’t you talk? Well, whatever. I’m getting in the car, and going where I’m going, and you need to come with me. Don’t ask me why I know, I just do. So come on!

Alma runs off. After a moment, we hear the phantom car peel out and drive off. Moon groans, sits up.

MOON What happened? (looks around) Where’s Alma?

Whiz shrugs, looks over at the trunk.

MOON (cont’d) Did you stick her in the trunk? What is wrong with you, lady? I swear to God, if you hurt her-

Moon runs over to the trunk, looks in.


In the middle of the night, on an abandoned race track, Alma and Moon are trying to raise a spirit from the dead. A strange woman has just popped out of a seemingly empty trunk. (see previous posts for more)
MOON Uh, Alma?
ALMA Go away, Moon!
MOON Alma!
ALMA What?!?!

Alma turns, sees Whiz.

ALMA (cont’d) Uh, excuse me, lady...but we’re shooting a tv show here, and it’s a closed set. Not open to the public. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Please step out of the trunk.

Whiz stares at Alma, then at Moon.

ALMA (cont’d) Hello? Closed set. Get out of the trunk.

Whiz slowly steps out of trunk, walks over to Moon.

ALMA (cont’d) Thank you. In a few months, you’ll be able to see this on one of your basic cable channels.

Whiz grabs Moon by the front of his shirt, pulls him to her. She smells his face, runs her hands across his back, then kisses him full on the mouth. 

ALMA (cont’d) Hey!

At first, Moon resists, then kisses Whiz back. Abruptly, he falls to the ground, unconscious.

ALMA (cont’d) H…


Moon and Alma have come to a deserted race track on Madeline Island, the most haunted of the Apostle Islands of Lake Superior. They hope to raise the ghost of Honeyboy Jack Schaefer and film it on their smart phone, so that they can get on a paranormal tv show. They are alone, with an old trunk they have dragged along with them. Things have started to get a little funky. See previous two posts for more.

MOON Oh my god!

An old car engine revs offstage, loudly. Then several car engines rev- it sounds like a race track right before a race. The sound builds and builds, until it's almost deafening.

ALMA This is awesome! Go stand by the trunk and tell us about summoning Honey Boy!
MOON Are you crazy? We have to get out of here!

Suddenly, the sounds stop. Silence. Moon and Alma stare at each other.

ALMA I think I got all that recorded. Do you know what this means?
MOON That a bunch of ghost cars are out to get us?
ALMA We’re gonna be on tv! Travel Channel- maybe Discovery. I don’t know. But our trou…


Moon and Alma have come to a deserted race track on Madeline Island, the most haunted of the Apostle Islands of Lake Superior. They hope to raise the ghost of Honeyboy Jack Schaefer and film it on their smart phone, so that they can get on a paranormal tv show. See previous post for more.

ALMA Just tell us about Honey Bun.
MOON Honey Boy! (back to camera) So, I’m standing on the old dirt track where Honey Boy won his last race- before plunging into the ice water mansions of Gitchy-Gummi.
ALMA Moon! Stick to the script.
MOON We are summoning the spirit of Honey Boy tonight, and he’s going to help me win tomorrows race.
ALMA He better.
MOON Do you really think they’ll break my thumbs if I don’t pay them back?
ALMA Moon! Don’t bring up loan sharks when the cameras are rolling. And yes, they’ll break your thumbs. They’ll break every bone in your body. 
MOON I can’t believe you talked me into going to them.
ALMA I didn’t talk anyone into anything.
MOON You’re the one who needed the money for the smart phone.


The middle of a dirt track for stock car racing. MOON, a slacker in his 20’s, comes on grunting and dragging an old steamer trunk to the middle of the stage. He stops, lets the trunk drop.

MOON Let’s do this. (a beam of light from off stage shines on his face) Howdy. I’m Moon Dog McCoy, and this is “Alma’s Anomalies, Episode One”! It’s about ten to three in the morning,and-

ALMA, Moon’s girlfriend, also in her 20’s, comes running on stage, smart phone in one hand filming Moon, flashlight in the other.

ALMA  Witching hour! Stick to the script, do it again.
MOON Do I have to say Alma’s Anomalies?
ALMA It’s the name of the show, Moon! Kind of important.
MOON It’s lame.
ALMA Moon, are you directing this project?
MOON No, but-
ALMA Then shut it.
MOON Alma, this is my deal. I’m the one who found the trunk, I’m the one summoning Honey Boy Jack-
ALMA You’re the one who’s going to be sleeping on the couch tonight! Just say it the way we practiced,okay?
MOON Fine!
ALMA And can you face a litt…


Last Thursday night, I wanted to explode. It was the final dress rehearsal for How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying at StageDoor Theatre in Conifer, and things were not going so well. The actors were forgetting their lines. The scene shifts were taking so long they felt like waiting in line at the DMV. The band was hitting a couple of clunkers. And the hardest working actor that night- a young man understudying the lead role of Finch who was set to perform opening night due to the tennis schedule of the other Finch- came down with some sort of virus and almost collapsed during "Brotherhood of Man", the big final number.  We had added twenty minutes to the show- not with new dialogue or bits of business. Just with delay. I really wanted to explode.

But things can, and do, get better.

The understudy Finch had to take the next night off. But the other Finch was available due to not going to State Finals- usually a sad thing but for the show, a godsend. Friday night,…


For the past few years, I have been going to see shows at the Fine Arts Center Theatre in Colorado Springs. I've seen dramas, comedies, musicals, even a one act that was stage in the museum section of the center- the excellent Lovers Leapt by Leslie Bramm directed by Artistic Director Scott Levy. And every show has been an outstanding piece of theatre. Noises Off, now playing at the FAC, is no exception. It's hilarious, fast paced, and makes you happy to be alive. This production also proves, yet again, that the most consistently excellent professional theatre in Colorado is at the Fine Arts Center in Colorado Springs.

Noises Off is a farce written by super-genius Michael Frayn. It's about a traveling theatre company putting on a farce, and is done in three acts, and from two perspectives. Act one is the final technical rehearsal, and is seen from the point of view of someone sitting in the audience during rehearsal. Act two takes place during a performance of the play, a…