APRIL'S PRESS RELEASE

So, tickets are now on sale for April's Fool, and we are in full promotion mode. That means many emails, Facebook invites, text messages, tweets, and whatever else it takes to fill those seats, and to get the members of the press to show up- because, love them or not, a good review can make all the difference for a show- especially if you don't have thousands of dollars to spend on publicity. We've gotten some responses, and a little traction already- in fact, the first article about the show came out last week on Broadwayworld.com, and the hope is that this is a harbinger of things to come. You can click HERE to see that article. I also did an interview for Indie Theater Now about the process of writing the show- you can see that HERE. And soon, also on Indie Theater Now, you will be able to read our director Bronwen Carson's thoughts on the play.

And if you are planning on coming, I will be at the opening performance- August 9 at 4:15 at the Connelly Theatre. Get you tickets now by clicking HERE.

So, there you are. And below you can see our official press release.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW YORK HAMLET PRODUCTIONS
341 East 65th St Suite 3RE
New York, NY 100065
Phone: 646-319-6445 E-mail:cnobbs99@gmail.com

NEW YORK HAMLET PRODUCTIONS
PRESENTS
APRIL`S FOOL
NYC Fringe Festival 2014
New York Hamlet Productions is proud to announce the world premiere of April’s Fool, a new
play by Kelly McAllister, directed by Bronwen Carson. Performances will take place at The
Connelly Theater, 220 East 4th St on:

SAT 8/9 4:15 - 6:15, SUN 8/17 6:30 - 8:30, WED 8/20 2:00 - 4:00,
FRI 8/22 9:30 - 11:30 and SUN 8/24 NOON - 2:00

At a costume party on April Fool’s Day in the East Village of Manhattan, Fate arrives in the guise
of a Norn (Norse Goddess of Fate) and, over 24 hours, toys with the lives of four young New
Yorkers as they struggle with love, life and entanglement. As time and space shift, we follow
these characters through a varied Manhattan landscape that includes an East Village
apartment, a hipster bar and Central Park. Lies are told, confidences shattered and the fabric of
reality itself is questioned.

The cast features Liz Conway, Ian Campbell Dunn (The Leftovers/HBO), Heather McAllister,
Casey Shane and Sarah Wharton.

Kelly McAllister, a three time veteran of FringeNYC, is an award winning playwright whose
work has been published and produced all over the world, from NYC to Prague to Sao Paulo.
His play Last Call won the Excellence in Playwriting award in FringeNYC 2002. Other plays
include: Burning the Old Man (NYIT 2005 Outstanding Full Length Play) and Hela and Troy
(Finalist Humana Festival Heideman award 2010). His plays have been published by Applause
Books, Playscripts Inc., Smith & Kraus and NYTE.

Bronwen Carson is an accomplished director/choreographer based in NYC. Credits
include: Viva America (Broadway Workshop), The Cherry Orchard (Off-Broadway), In The Key of
Cy (Off-Broadway), Myopia (Neighborhood Playhouse) and Dim Sum(Neighborhood Playhouse).

Producer Craig Nobbs was recently Associate Producer on SAM, a feature film co-written and
directed by Nicholas Brooks and Producer on the film The Cat’s Cradle, written by Tawny
Sorensen and directed by David Spaltro. He is an award winning playwright and screenwriter
and a graduate of NYU Tisch School of the Arts’ Dramatic Writing Program.

Website: www.aprilsfoolplay.com/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/aprilsfoolplay
Twitter: @AprilsFoolplay
FringeNYC: www.FringeNYC.org

FATE, IT SEEMS, HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR

That's the tag line for April's Fool. And I dig it. I've been writing this play for a little over a year, and I am in love with it. I am in love with all my plays, of course. When you write a play, it becomes one of your children- and you love it unconditionally. Whenever people ask me which play is my favorite, I truly can't say. I love them all.


April's Fool is set to have it's world premiere this August at the New York International Fringe Festival, and I am soooooo excited. The Fringe is where my first play, Last Call, premiered. It's where I became addicted to writing. It's my birthplace as a playwright- and something about this whole experience feels so right it's more than a little freaky-deaky. First off, the director- Bronwen Carson- gets me and this play like she's psychic or something. Second, the show is being produced by my great friend Craig Nobbs- who is just such an inspiration to me with his attitude and work ethic and general awesomeness. Third, we are performing in the Connelly Theatre, where I had one of the best theatrical experiences of my life playing Boxer in a puppet version of Animal Farm. Fourth, we just cast this sucker, and the cast is mind blowingly perfect. Fifth, the Fringe is good mojo. And beyond all that, my gut is telling me that this is going to be special.

Sometimes, when working on a play, you get this feeling in your gut that something magic is in the air. I remember when I was writing Last Call I had this feeling. I was in my apartment in Williamsburg, talking with good friend Jack Halpin about the show- and we both noted that there was something in the air, some sort of electric charge about the show. Something was happening that was going to change our lives, and somehow we knew it.

I feel that way about April's Fool.

And I just hashed out the ending- or new ending, as there have been several incarnations- and it feels right. Like something clicked and now I get it and there's the ending I've been wanting/needing/striving for- and now it all makes sense. It's weird, and exhilarating, and a little magnificent.

So get on board with me. Join the team. Enlist in April's Army, as a Fool, Magician, Lover, or Star. We are setting the course for points unknown- but we have a cosmic playlist, plenty of snacks, and an open road. For more info, click HERE.

And on another groovy note, my play RIDDLE LOST has just been published on Indie Theater Now. If you want to check it out, click HERE.

Onwards, and May the Fates Be with You.

APRIL IN AUGUST AT FRINGENYC

April's Fool is in! Repeat: April's Fool is in! I am Fringe-ing it this summer. That's right- I am going to be a participant in the 2014 New York International Fringe Festival with my latest play, April's Fool. I am excited, a little scared, and very happy.

April's Fool, my metaphysical comedy that was first developed by the theater at the Colorado Springs Fine Arts Center- Scott Levy, artistic director- and recently given a reading as part of the Playwrights Festival at The Western Stage of Salinas- Jon Selover, artistic directcor- will be given it's first full production in August, marking my first full length play to be performed in NYC in almost 8 years.

I want each of you to come see it. I don't want any excuses. I want your butts in seats. That sounds a little kinky, and I don't care. Just be there- it's this August, in NYC- the best time of year to be in Gotham.  And if you haven't already- visit our Facebook page and "like" it. Pretty please. Just click HERE and then, once on April's page, click like. Ten seconds of your time.

If you like my plays at all, April's Fool is for you- it's got a bunch of hyper intelligent people acting like morons. It's got cultural references galore. It's got death, sex, loneliness, and angst. And it's funny.

The casting is in progress- if you are in NYC and have always wanted to audition for a brand new play by Kelly McAllister, this is your lucky day.

Not only is it written by me, it's being directed by Bronwen Carson- who is so talented, funny, and insane in the best sense of the word that I can't really do her justice with my feeble attempts at describing her. Just trust me when I say she is a director who kicks it in the ass.

But wait, there's more. The show is being produced by Craig Nobbs- rising screenwriter, film director, and genius. And one of my dearest friends and collaborators.

So, why else should you go see this show? Well, if you've ever wondered about reality- like if maybe this is all some sort of weird dream, or maybe you are in the wrong alternate reality and should be in the one where you have the job of your dreams and made all the right decisions- if you've ever, even for just one moment, pondered if there is such a thing as fate or destiny controlling all or at least some of your life- if you think maybe you stepped through the looking glass long ago and have been wandering Wonderland most of your days and nights- this is the play for you. It won't answer all the questions- but it will give you a little bit of solace on those occasions you think we're all mad here.


The New York International Fringe Festival is the largest performing arts festival in North America, and takes place in August. I have had the great honor of being involved in four productions at FringeNYC- Last Call; Muse of Fire; Die, Die, Diana; and Some Unfortunate Hour. To be in the Fringe is amazing- and to experience it as a theatre goer is something that should be on everyone's bucket list.

So see you in August. More details- like theatre space and show dates and times- TBA.
If you want to buy a digital copy of the script- you can do that, right now, and for less than two dollars, by clicking HERE- that will take you to Indie Theater Now- the best web site in the multiverse.

APRIL IN SALINAS

April is coming to Salinas. So is Ahab and Moira and Jaypes. They're all being brought there by Norn- or Urd, as some call her. Or is it Verdandi? Or perhaps Skuld? Who can say for sure? What I am fairly sure of is that all those strangely named folks are characters in my new play. Mayhap they're all mad. Or we are. Or you are. Or I am. Or not. It all comes down to something in the end. Doesn't it? What appears to be happening- if indeed this reality is happening and not the dream of a butterfly about to waken, at which point this world will pass- is that my latest play April's Fool is slated to be presented as a staged reading as part of The Western Stage's Playwrights Festival.


The reading is on Sunday April 12 at 2:00 pm. Tickets are free, which I think is reasonable and shouldn't put anyone too much back.

Here's a taste. This is from the beginning of the first scene. It's late at night, and Ahab and April are about to break into Moira's apartment. At this point, they are standing offstage, just outside the door into Moira's place, where the scene unspools. Enjoy:

AHAB (O.S.)

Quiet! She’s probably asleep. Stand back, I’m going to break

the door down.

APRIL (O.S.)

What if it’s unlocked?

AHAB (O.S.)

Don’t be stupid! Nobody leaves their door open anymore!

The door opens, and we see April, late twenties/early thirties. She is wearing a harlequin costume, including a black mask over her eyes. In one hand she holds a bag full of tools, in the other a flashlight, which she points into the room. She takes a few steps in, followed by AHAB- same age, wearing a court jester costume, holding a crowbar.

APRIL

You were saying?

AHAB 

Your hair wants cutting.

APRIL

You should learn not to make personal remarks. It’s very
rude.

AHAB

Well, shit.

APRIL

So now that we’re in, what’s the plan?

AHAB

Grab the pinball machine Dickhead gave her, throw it out the window, and escape into the night!

APRIL

Quiet! (whispers) She’s probably asleep!

AHAB 

(whispers) Right. Flashlight.


April pulls another flashlight out of the bag, hands it to Ahab. He turns it on. They both point their flashlights around the apartment, revealing tasteful furniture, and also many empty glasses, half eaten bowls of potato chips and such, indicating a party was thrown earlier that night. There’s a door to the kitchen, and a hallway leading to a bedroom and bathroom. Ahab points his flashlight to a pinball machine in the middle of the room.

AHAB (cont’d)

Who gives his girlfriend a pinball machine?

APRIL 

I think it’s kind of cool.

AHAB 

It was a theoretical question!

APRIL

Theoretical?

AHAB

Rhetorical! You know what I mean! Not wanting an answer
‘cause it’s obvious that what I mean is that Dickhead is a dickhead. And it is not kind of cool!

APRIL

Have some wine.

AHAB

What are you trying to say?

APRIL

I think you know.

AHAB

Then you should say what you mean. 

If that whets your appetite, and you'd like to read the whole play, you can purchase it online- that's right, before it's world premiere later this year in NYC- at Indie Theater Now by clicking HERE.

The Playwrights Festival is part of a year long celebration of the Western Stage's 40th anniversary- which is a pretty remarkable achievement in the theatre world- or any other type of world for that matter. I have worked there both as an actor and a playwright, and it is part of the fabric of my soul- a place where I learned a bit about the stage, about art, about life and death and sex and drugs and rock-n-roll and the meaning of spaffles. As an actor, I had the distinct honor of being in the first two fully staged productions of Alan Cook's adaptation of John Steinbeck's East of Eden- a trilogy of plays that was in total nine hours long. If the list of shows I acted in was a discography, East of Eden could very well be my Sgt. Pepper's. Or Let It Bleed. As a playwright, they produced Burning the Old Man last summer, and the year before gave a staged reading of Riddle Lost.

Clearly, they have good taste in writers.

YOU'RE JUST FREAKED OUT FROM 9/11

My first play, Last Call, was sort of a 9/11 play. I guess. What really makes a play a 9/11 play? A story about the particular events of that day in regards to the terrorist attacks? A story about people's reactions? A story that takes place anywhere in this world after that day, since we are told over and over how the world changed forever that day? I don't know. I do know it was a weird day, and that the country went insane for awhile. On the advice of Jack Halpin, I took an unfinished play and finished it. I put people in it who were tired and scared and lost. I put in a bartender who took a crucifix and wrapped an American flag around it, so that it looked like Jesus was wearing the flag as a loincloth. And I set the play far, far away from NYC, in the town of Salinas- which might as well have been the other side of the world that day. People seemed to like the play when it got produced by hope theatre, inc. as part of the 2002 New York International Fringe Festival. It won an award, and then got published. Here's a little bit. If you like it, you can buy the whole thing at IndieTheaterNow.

VINCE

Oh, you’re just freaked out from 9-11.  Everything’s gonna be fine.  Relax.  This is a natural reaction.

DAVID

I’m not talking about 9-11.  Not exactly.  I mean, yeah, that freaked me out, and it sucked, and still sucks, but that wasn’t the deciding factor.

JERRY

What the fuck are you talking about?

DAVID

I’m talking about blood and guts and life and death.

JACK

I don’t understand.

DAVID

It’s a long story.

JACK

What is?

DAVID

What happened to me.

JACK

What happened to you?

DAVID

Well, I guess it all started the night I tried to kill myself.

JERRY

You tried to kill yourself?

DAVID

I was going to.

VINCE

So first you’re dying, and now you’re trying to kill yourself?

JACK

What the Hell are you talking about?

           DAVID

It was about three months after 9/11.  After everyone started acting like their normal, boring, creepy selves.

VINCE

Including you?

DAVID

Oh yeah.  Especially me.  Thousands of people dead.  A war on terrorism that just gets curiouser and curiouser.  Anthrax, some kid putting pipe bombs in mail boxes- things are totally fucked up. And there I am, buying this and selling that, closing deals like nothing ever happened.  Keep going on like before.  That’s what everyone said to do to fight the terrorists.  Keep going on like before.  Even if you’re an asshole, keep going on like before.  It’s all so fucked and weird.  You ever feel like nothing makes sense, that time and space are all warped and you’re just sort of floating through it, powerless?

JACK

All the time.

THIS TOO KICKS ASS

Burning the Old Man is by far my most successful play to date. It's initial run was well reviewed, won the NYIT award for outstanding full length script, been published both in print and online (at the best site for new scripts, Indie Theater Now) is featured in several scene/monologue books as well as in the latest edition of the text book Acting is Believing (a book I had to read in college), and has been translated into Czech and Portuguese. It ran for three years at Divadlo na Zabradli in Prague, and is currently playing at  Divadlo Exil. This Saturday, it opens in Sao Paolo, Brazil with the title As Cinzas do Velho. And this July, it will open in Salinas, CA as part of the 2X4 BASH at The Western Stage.

I look at the above paragraph and think that looks like a bunch of bragging. And maybe it is. But I feel pretty good about everything that's happened with the play, so what the hell? As Max Bialystock would say, flaunt it when you got it, baby! Flaunt it!

I wrote the play very quickly. The first draft took less than a week, and just sort of poured out in a torrent from my mind to my computer screen. I think it's both strange and wonderful that something that  seemed to come so easily has had such a long, healthy life. No doubt there is a lesson in there about trusting your instincts, getting out of your head, and letting the universe, or multiverse, guide you.



I think I am on the same track with my latest play, now titled Mathurine. I wrote the first draft in less than a week, have not over thought anything about it, and it seems to be touching a chord with everyone who reads it.

Now that I think of it, most of my best work is the work that I don't over think. I wrote my one act Hela and Troy in a day, and that's my other international play, having had productions in NYC, Canada, and Dubai.



But maybe those plays were only easy because I had spent plenty of time on plays that were not so easy. Or because I've spent my entire adult life around the theatre, as an actor, reviewer, director, and audience member. I don't know why. But I do know that, for me, the best thing to do when I sit down to write is to put on some good music, find the dimensional door that opens into another world, and walk through it. When I say dimensional door, what I mean is this: when I write a play or story or whatever, I usually see in my mind some scene- a guy running into a hotel lobby with a box full of his father's ashes; Hela, the Norse goddess of death, speed dating; a guy and a girl breaking into an apartment in Manhattan intending to do violence to a pinball machine. Then I go to that world, and that's that. It's hard to describe any better than that.

I must say here that I owe a lot to JoAnna Beckson- one of the best acting teachers around, who I was lucky enough to study with when I lived in NYC. She taught me to check my head at the door and be in the moment; to listen to my instincts; to listen and respond to what is happening right in front of me and to stop imposing my idea of what should be happening on top of what actually is happening. I've been very fortunate in my life when it comes to teachers, mentors, and colleagues. JoAnna inspired me, challenged me, and gave me wings.

One more thing. In Burning the Old Man, there is mention of the phrase "this too shall pass." There is a song by OK Go called This Too Shall Pass, and always makes me smile. There are two videos for that song. Both of them are clearly the product of people who let their imagination soar.

WHY NOT ALL THREE?

So I'm furiously writing my latest opus- a play with the working title "Don't Get Too Comfy Pal". The title will most likely change soon, but that will be the subject of a future blog. The play is a bit of poetic realism following four twenty-to-thirty-something New Yorkers dealing with unrequited love, betrayal, and attempted murder with a pinball machine. I've got the characters down- meaning I can hear what they sound like in my head and as such when I write a scene they just come in and do what they would do, react the way they would react, and still manage to surprise me with who they are. I've got a basic premise, or gimmick, where reality shifts at the end of every scene. And I am liking it all quite a bit. But then I get to that thing called the ending, the resolution of the crisis, the way things turn out for the characters, and I pause. There are at least three possible ways this story can finish: the sad ending with death and sorrow; the bittersweet ending with no death but lots of isolation and everyone realizing rather unpleasant things about either themselves or the world; or the happy ending where those who deserve a break in this vicious world actually get one. I can see the merits in all three. What to do?

I ponder. I ponder some more. I talk with the few people I trust to read what I've already written. My sister Heather leans towards the happy ending. My friend Jack is opening a production of Little Shop of Horrors and hasn't gotten to read it all yet. Then I call my older brother Jerry, and he says "why not all three?"

And it's like a light goes off, the way is clear, the problem solved. Why not all three? I've already got reality shifting left and right in every scene. One of the main characters is Norn- the three gods of fate in Norse mythology embodied in one person who can do pretty much whatever she wants with time and space, so why not have three alternate realities? The Norns in most versions of Norse mythology are three women- Urd, Verdandi, and Skuld. Urd spins the thread of your life, Verdandi measures it, and Skuld cuts it. They're very similar to the fates of Greek myth. And the thread of life makes me thing of string theory, and alternate universes, and all those crazy ideas that seem to be accepted by science if what I watch on shows like Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman are telling the truth.

And it all just fits. The first draft gets written, and entered in the Rough Writers contest at the Fine Arts Center in Colorado Springs. I send copies to more friends- including Martin Denton,  the man behind nytheatre.com and Indie Theater Now. Martin is one of modern theatre's true champions and someone I consider myself very lucky to be able to call my friend.  And the feedback is very positive.

Now I am getting ready to dive back in for the second draft. There are scenes to clean up, and other scenes that haven't even materialized yet. But I'm not worried. The base is there, the foundation. And I've already found something interesting that has sparked my interest. Apparently, in some versions of the myths about the Norns, they write your fate in rune stones, which they hammer into this shield. I have this image of Norn working in her garage, hammering some runes into a shield, while talking with Sabrina about life, the universe, and everything. And then there's Gladde, Larfor, Jaypes, and Pranxtor- who may or may not show up.

We shall see where it goes next.

AS CINZAS DO VELHO

Ashes of the Old. That's the title of my play Burning the Old Man, as translated into Portugeuese by Geraldo Carrara for the Brazilian premiere directed by Luis Artur Nunes, which will open in Sao Paolo in March. I'm very excited about this production- the people involved, whom I have yet to meet in person, are dedicated, interesting, talented artists. I have been writing back and forth with several of the key players, particularly Alexandre Cruz and Marcelo Braga de Carvalho, and the discussions we have had about the play have been exhilarating. It is something rare and wonderful to discuss a play you've written with people in another country who like it so much that they have translated it into their own language and are putting up a production of the play. It makes you really think about what you have written, and why it seems to connect with people. For some reason, Burning the Old Man seems to be the play I've written that has touched the most people. It's by far the best selling of my plays- which are available at both Indie Theater Now and Playscripts, inc., and has also been featured in several scene books and also in Acting is Believing- a book required is many acting classes. I don't know why it's so popular, I only know that it is so. And that's groovy.



I have a lot of writing going on at the moment. Things come in waves, I think. There are months where it seems like nothing is happening, and then there are months when everything is happening. Right now, I am working on a one hour musical in the style of Glee, re-writes for the June production of Rose Red; a new play based on a piece of art for the Rough Writers program at the Fine Arts Center in Colorado Springs; and also a weird paranormal comedy drama thing that involves two slackers, an old trunk, ghosts, and the song The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. On top of that, I am directing two high school plays: Moon Over Buffalo at the Denver JCC, and Our Town at The Watershed School. And on top of that, I have to find a film editor who works with Final Cut Pro X so that I can get my first short film, Strong Tea, done and out to festivals. Makes me feel like Bilbo, when he tells Gandalf he's like butter scraped over too much bread.

Lots to do, so of course I get this cold/flu virus thing that seems to be attacking the world like angry aliens from the planet Suck-It. Whatever this virus is, it is nasty. I have never felt so sick in my life. It makes me think that maybe the Mayans meant to say that the end of the world would start in December 2012, and slowly come about through a series of fevers, sniffles, and coughs.

But do I let that get me down? Hell no. Time to kick it in the ass.

So visit these sites, buy my plays, like the Facebook pages, and do whatever it is that makes you happy.

http://strongtea-themovie.com/
http://ascinzasdovelho.blogspot.com.br/
http://www.indietheaternow.com/Playwright/kelly-mcallister
http://www.playscripts.com/author.php3?authorid=1062

A FIGURE OF SPEECH

So we decide on some knights for comic relief in ROSE RED. We  being Kari Kraakevik and myself, Rose Red being the new musical we are creating based on the fairy tale Rose Red and Snow White. Kari and I have sat down, and I've come up with a basic plot- which will no doubt change during the creative process (and already has). In the plot, there's a lost prince who has been turned into a wolf by Endorra Belle, a powerful enchantress who has turned bad ever since her ruby heart was broken into pieces. In the notes, I have "a trio of knights enter, looking for the prince, sing funny song".



Okay. Now I'm writing the script based on my notes. Funny knights. Hmmm. When I think funny knights, I think of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Silly, absurd, over the top. And maybe they can use language in a way that's amusing. Maybe they can have goofy names. Somehow, I decide to name them Sir Lost, Sir And, & Sir Found. This makes me laugh. So I keep it. And I figure, every now and then, someone can say "and?", which is a fairly common way of saying "what else?" in the modern parlance- and Sir And can always assume they're talking to him. Like the knights meet Rose and Snow, tell them they're looking for the Prince, Rose says "And?", and then Sir And says "are you speaking to me?" Ah, cheap laughs. I love it. And now, there's a feel to the knights. A way of speaking. Malaprops, mistaken word play- like Abbot and Costello's famous "Who's On First?" routine. For whatever reason, this opens these three characters up to me, and they are now living, breathing people. Silly knights who get lost in their own language. And use words like Gadzooks. Why not?

It happens like that for me a lot. I'll have a character or characters in mind for a story who have to do a specific thing. I kick around some ideas. Then something happens that clicks, and I can see them, hear them, know what they will do. I sometimes think I don't make up stories as tap into an alternate reality where these people really exist.

Must mean I'm crazy.

Anyway, when I tell other folks about my idea, they like it. We decide they need a song in Act Two, something to relieve the tension, keep the audience satisfied, and all that. And I figure, why not sing about language? I'll call it "Figure of Speech". Kari likes it. Words get written, music gets written, and voila- a song is born. Below are the lyrics.

One more thing- we just got word that the libretto for ROSE RED is going to be e-published by Indie Theater Now, and that is very good news indeed!


“FIGURE OF SPEECH”


IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH
LIKE ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH?
OR DON’T BRING SAND TO THE BEACH?
AND THOSE WHO CAN, DO
THOSE WHO CAN’T, TEACH

MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE
A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES
SAY ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY
LOOK ME DEAD IN THE EYE
RED SKY AT MORNING
SAILOR TAKE WARNING
RED SKY AT NIGHT
SAILOR’S DELIGHT

OH FIGURES, ANALOGIES, SIMILIES!
GOOD THINGS ALWAYS COME IN THREES!

TOO BIG FOR HIS BRITCHES
OR LIKE WHEN THE WITCHES
SAY SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

HIS STOMACH’S GOT BUTTERFLIES
SHE’S LOOKING RATHER STARRY EYED
AND AS FOR ME I’M SIMPLY ALL THUMBS

SIMILIES, FIGURES, ANALOGIES!
GOOD THINGS ALWAYS COME IN THREES

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT
PEASE PORRIDGE, COLD OR HOT

LOST IN THE STAR LIGHT STAR BRIGHT
WISH I MAY I WISH I MIGHT

I’VE A FROG IN MY THROAT
THAT’S REALLY GOT MY GOAT

DUMB AS A POST, STRONG AS AN OX
SWEET AS A PIE, SLY AS A FOX
OH SIMILIES! ANALOGIES! FIGURES!
WAIT! WHAT WORD CAN WE RHYME WITH FIGURES?

IT MATTERS NOT, THE SONG IS DONE
THERE’S NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN
DON’T PUT THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE
THERE’S ONE MORE THING TO SAY, OF COURSE

DON’T LOSE HOPE, SWEET LITTLE DOVE
FOR ALL YOU REALLY NEED IS LOVE.

MORE COWBELLS, WITCHES, AND KNIGHTS

So I was set to meet with Kari Kraakevik- composer, genius, and friend who I have agreed to write a musical with. The meeting is at Starbucks, and we're going to sit down and I'm going to tell her my basic ideas for the plot. The show is based on Rose Red and Snow White, an old Norske legend immortalized by the Brothers Grimm. We've talked a bit about the basics- two main characters are sisters who are very different. There's a cranky Imp, and a bear who comes in from the cold. We want to make it all about Rose and being different, being something other than what your parents want you to be- in her case, being wild and needing to go out into the world and find whatever she finds. We've talked about making the bear a wolf- a Wolf Prince, and giving him an older brother- a Wolf King. Now we need a basic structure, with places for songs and over 20 characters.

And go!

Okay- let's start by giving the Imp a back story. Why is he so mean? How about: once, the Imp was your run of the mill human, but got turned into the Imp by an evil wizard? Yeah, and not just any normal human, but the father of Rose and Snow. Now that sounds good. Explains the absent father, creates all sorts of possibilities down the road. So, what happened? Long ago, while looking for food, he followed a deer deep into the mountains. Now in those very same mountains lived a very powerful wizard- no, a witch- no, an enchantress who used her power for good. Yeah, I like that. And this enchantress' heart was a huge ruby which she kept safe in those mountains. And the man- let's call him the Hunter, comes upon the ruby, and not knowing any better, breaks it into little pieces in the hopes of selling them. Which is a bad idea, as the enchantress is now upset about her heart being broken, and is now without a heart, and therefore incapable of mercy. She zaps the hunter, turns him into the Imp, and is now all messed up, evil, bad- now she's a bad witch. And she needs a name. I take Endorra for the Witch of Endor from the Bible, and Belle from the Bell Witch legend, and now she has a name: Endorra Belle.

So that will all be in a prelude, sort of like in Disney's Beauty and the Beast- a quick set up leading us to Rose Red and Snow White living with their mom. The village has been living in fear ever since Endorra went bad. And we'll have a song introducing most of the characters. In the first draft of the plot, this takes place in the forest, and I make a note to create some forest creatures as characters. The song will have to be about the differences between Rose and Snow- wild vs. domestic, yin and yang and all that. And we'll call it "Red and White".

Okay, next we can have Rose and Snow go into the woods picking berries- always trouble. They meet the Imp like in the fairy tale, help him out of a jam, and he's a jerk. After he leaves, the sisters can sing a duet about domesticity vs. freedom. Excellent. Next, back home, they can meet the Wolf Prince. And to fill out the cast, let's give the Wolf Prince a side-kick. A black sheep called Night, who can turn out to be a bad guy/spy. Later on, after the first read through, I will change the Wolf Prince's name to the Timberwolf because it's a little confusing having a Wolf Prince and a Wolf King. On top of that, there was a DC superhero named Timberwolf who was a member of  the Legion of Superheroes.

I like to put weird, obscure references in my work. Sometimes they're cultural, sometimes they're historical, sometimes they're personal. I figure, if it doesn't hamper the story, makes sense on its own, and will make those who get it feel extra smart, why not? If nothing else, it keeps me amused, and invested in the story- and often, what starts as a goofy allusion to some book I read leads to a great moment.

So Timberwolf shows up, and turns out to be a lost prince, trapped in another form. This is good- see, everyone wants Rose to be something she's not. And in the story, there are other characters who have been forced to be things they are not. And none of them are better for it. That's a theme, or something.

And if there's a missing prince, then there have to be people looking for him. Knights. And I sense a chance for some comic relief. What is the knights are sort of goofy? Yes. It's all coming together. And here's the weird thing. There's this point for me when I'm making up a story where it all clicks, and I can't really explain it, but somehow, I no longer really have to think all that much about what should happen. I just sort of see it in my mind. The characters, the scenery, the whole thing- and it's like I'm just writing down what I see in my head. There might be a little snag here and there, a moment I need to tweak- but that's all mechanics. Sometimes, scenes I see end up getting cut from the show. Doesn't mean they aren't part of the whole story, they're just a part we don't need to see on stage. Once I hit that point, writing the play becomes nothing more or less than the story showing itself to me.

At least, that's how it feels. More on all that next time. By the way, the amazing costume sketches you see are the work of Sherry McClure, who is designing sets and costumes for our production at Actors Academy of the Performing Arts. Tickets are now on sale for our December 14, 15, and 16 performances in Boulder. Go here to buy some.

Also, my short play Lovers, Lunatics, and Poets will be available very soon from Playscripts, inc. Go here for more info.

And last but not least, two things on Burning the Old Man. If you are in the city of Pardubice in the Czech Republic, go see it performed in Czech under the title Putovani S Urnou at Divadlo Exil. And, I just got the Portuguese translation, As Cinzas do Velho, for a production going up in Sao Paolo in March. If you are in that part of the world, I hope you can see it. Of course, if you'd like to read an English version of the play, you can always buy your very own copy at the fantastic web site Indie Theater Now. Go here for more info.

That's all for today- now go out there and get your theatre on!

MAKING A MUSICAL, part 1

I think I'll use this blog to chronicle the birth of my new musical, ROSE RED. Seems that my writing about how I write might be of interest to some folks.

So, late last spring, Kari Kraakevik- who has been teaching with me at Actor's Academy for the Performing Arts up in Boulder for the past few years- told me that I should write a musical with her- a musical either for, or to be performed by, young people. Something that would appeal to the kind of audience who likes Wicked.

For those who know me only by my plays, this might sound a little strange. My plays, by and large, deal with lost, crazy, and/or angry people who drink to excess, get high, and swear with authority.  My first play, LAST CALL, had two guys run around naked for about ten minutes of the show, and I used the F word so much that we seriously considered putting the catch phrase "a f#$@ a minute" on the posters. I don't set out to write plays with so much "adult" material- but that seems to be what usually happens.

But I also happen to work really well with young people. No doubt we're emotional equals or something- but regardless the reason, I seem to be able to relate to the young pretty well. Since moving to Colorado, I've directed a lot of shows with young casts, and taught a ton of classes. I am sure I've worked with over a thousand young actors in the past five years.

So writing a musical for young people didn't seem so crazy after all. next, we needed to choose what to write about. I suggested maybe using my play MUSE OF FIRE, which takes place on a college campus- and had lots of swearing, drinking, and people mentioning that fact that human beings have sex. So that was out.

Then I suggested Rose Red and Snow White. It was one of my favorites when I was a kid, and the minute I mentioned it, I got a good feeling. Part of that, no doubt, was nostalgia for days gone by, like the happy feeling I get every time I hear theme song for The Mary Tyler Moore Show. But there was something more- just a feeling in my gut that said "yeah, this could be the way to go."

In my life, I seem to only get gut feelings that work out when it comes to writing. I don't know if this is the Universe's way of telling me to be a writer, or to keep me in the poor house, but that's just the way it is. And when the voices in my head talk, I listen.

So Kari and I met at a Starbucks up in Boulder in May, and I sort of hashed out a basic plot for the musical- expanding the story, adding lots of characters and plot twists along the way. Kari wrote everything down, and emailed me the results.

Now it was up to me to write the thing.

I'll start to tell you about that next time. In the interim, please check out these sites where you can buy for a very low price some of my earlier plays:

http://www.indietheaternow.com/Playwright/Playwright/KellyMcAllister

http://www.playscripts.com/author.php3?authorid=1062

 And then go to my short films Facebook page and give it a "like".

https://www.facebook.com/StrongTeaMovie


Up next, how I turned a bear into a wolf.

NARNIAN DWARVES FREAK ME OUT

When I was in elementary- long ago and far away in a kingdom by the sea- I read The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. They were a great set of books- fun, exciting, full of unexpected creatures, spooky bad guys, and all those sorts of things. I think I must have been in fourth grade when I read them. They fall, in my memory's time line- which is admittedly questionable- between reading the Oz books by L. Frank Baum and The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein. (on a side note, I always thought it rather presumptuous of old J.R.R. to have 3 initials before his last name)

Anyway, in The Last Battle, which is the last book of the Narnia series, there's this scene that freaked me out when I first read it, and still gives me the creeps now. Towards the end of the story, all the heroes are holed up in this cabin. The heroes are humans and magic creatures, including a group of dwarves who are sitting in a circle with their eyes closed, terrified and not in a very good mood. Outside, the forces of evil are closing in for the kill. All looks hopeless, but at the last minute Aslan, the lion appears and magically saves the day, transporting everyone to this really nice, safe place. Hooray. But then, the heroes notice that the dwarves are still sitting in a circle with their eyes closed, terrified. See, in their minds, they're still sitting in the cabin, which has been set on fire, and they are about to die horrible awful deaths. And nothing anyone says can convince them otherwise. One of the heroes even picks up one of the dwarves, pleading with him to open his eyes and realize that all is well. But to no avail.

Eventually, they leave the dwarves behind.

That little bit haunts me to this very day. The idea of people who are so sad, so sure that everything is terrible that they can't accept anything other than misery was all too plausible. I mean, yeah, there are lots of terrible things out there, and yes, we all are doomed to one day shuffle off this mortal coil, and the sun will one day explode, and the economy sucks- I get all that. Which to me seems like an even great incentive to try and see the light where ever we can, to hear music when it plays, soak up smiles when they come our way.

That's about all for now. And if you haven't done so, please check out my plays at INDIE THEATER NOW and PLAYSCRIPTS, INC. You can download one for just $1.29. See, things are getting better already.

LOVERS, LUNATICS, AND POETS

So, awhile back, I entered a contest via Twitter. I know, it sounds kind of goofy, but I figured why not? It was called Pitch-n-Play, and was being put on by Playscripts, inc. - a group that has the good taste to publish Hela and Troy, a one act of mine. The concept was simple- write a pitch for a play based on the quote "the course of true love never did run smooth". The pitch had to fit into one tweet. That was it. I wrote about ten pitches, and tweeted them all with the appropriate hash tag. Or is it hashtag? Syntax in this electronic age is liquid, shifting between parallel universes at the speed of light. Anyway, back in early March it was announced that one of my pitches, from the thousands entered, had been chosen as one of three winners. Hooray. Here's the winning pitch in its entirety: The real Puck messes with hearts of teens during high school prod of A Midsummer Nights Dream. 


That was part one of the contest. Next, people from all over the world were invited to write a short play based on any of the three winning pitches. Which meant people I had never met were going to write plays based on my idea. Which I found cool. It is thrilling to think of strangers reading my stuff. Well, thrilling and weird, and maybe a little scary. But mostly thrilling.


Anyway, in about a month, in between all the classes I teach and shows was directing, I managed to write a play based on my pitch. I decided to have Puck come upon the fairy Peaseblossom, who has forsaken being a fairy because she's fallen in love with a young actor. Puck decides to help her, and hilarity ensues. There's lots of mistakes, parallels to the real Midsummer Night's Dream, and plenty of jokes aimed at the theatre itself. And a baby pygmy hippo. 




Here's a small sample, where Peaseblossom, now going by the name Peabo, tries to explain everything to Maggie, a normal high school student.

MAGGIE

Uh, what are you talking about?

PEABO

Isn’t it obvious? Robyn here has been possessed by the real Puck. Puck, feeling sorry for me because I used to be a fairy but fell in love with Tim and became mortal, has taken the magic flower called love-in-idleness and tried to use it to make Tim love me back, but messed things up in classic Puck-like fashion!

MAGGIE

Wait- you love Tim?

PEABO

Yes!

MAGGIE

And you’re saying fairies, like the ones in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, are real?

PEABO

Hello! What, did you think Shakespeare made all that up?

MAGGIE

Well, yeah.

You get the idea. So, I wrote it, sent it in, and then today I got notice that my play was one of three finalists, and while it didn't win the grand prize, the decided to publish it anyway, just 'cause they liked it so much. Like I said, Playscripts is known for their excellent literary taste.

So, when it becomes available, I'll post information here. In the meantime, you can get info and/or buy my others plays at both Playscripts, Inc. and Indie Theatre Now.

Now go out there and GET YOUR THEATRE ON.

FINDING BIGFOOT

I am a geek- always have been, always will be.  I love Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings, and played Dungeons & Dragons a lot in high school.  I read comic books at the book store- and I mean comic books, as opposed to graphic novels (which I also read).  I always check to see what's on Discovery, History, Science and such in the hopes that some paranormal show will be on.  Sometimes I call myself a nerdling- part nerd, part halfling, all geek.  I don't know why, I just know that it is so.

Of late, one of my favorite shows to watch is Finding Bigfoot, a sort of reality show that I think might secretly be the latest product from Christopher Guest, the genius who gave us Waiting for Guffman.  It just seems a little too weird, and the people a little...well, let's just say they strain credulity.

The show follows the adventures of a supposedly real life field team for BFRO- which stands for Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization.  There are four researchers on the team, and they go from town to town, investigating sightings of Sasquatch, aka Bigfoot, or as they like to call him on the show, Squatch- which sounds to me like something that happens to you after eating too much spicy food.  "Are you ok in there?"  "No, I got a bad case of Squatch".  "Well, light a match when you're done".

The team consists of Matt Moneymaker, who reminds me of Corky from Waiting for Guffman; Bobo Fay- a big stoner who may or may not be part Squatch himself; Cliff Barackman, another Squatch enthusiast with slightly better hair than Mr. Moneymaker; and Ranae Holland- the kind of butch skeptic who might secretly be Jane Lynch.

It's awesome.

I mean, you do get the eye witness reports of sightings of the big guy, the occasional video of something in the distance that may or may not be an ape man, and all that good stuff.  But the real fun is the crew- how they talk about themselves, each other, and all things Squatch.  There's something sweet, and also very silly, about the team- sometimes they take themselves way too seriously, and there's a lot of bickering- but underneath all are these goofy people who want to find something mysterious out there in the world that can take our breath away.  I like that.

And I do believe in Bigfoot, UFO's, and the Loch Ness Monster.  I even saw a pair of ghosts once, which I will write about in a future blog.

Please don't forget to check out my plays available online at Indie Theater Now:  Last Call; Muse of Fire; Burning the Old Man; Some Unfortunate Hour; and Fenway: Last of the Bohemians.

Now go find some Squatch!

PUTOVANI S URNOU & JANUS

Two things to tell you about today.  First, a production of Burning the Old Man just opened in Pardubice, Czech Rebpublic, produced by Divadlo Exil.  This is the second production I've had done in the Czech Republic- and I am thrilled.  They have been fantastic, and by all accounts, the production is awesome.  Just check out this trailer they've made:

Burning the Old Man is probably my most successful play to date.  It won the 2005 NYIT Award for Outstanding Full Length Script, has been published by NYTE, Applause, and Smith & Kraus; and has been produced in Boomerang Theatre Company, Divadlo na Zabradli of Prague, and the aforementioned Divadlo Exil.  This past fall, Harvardwood did a reading of a screenplay based on the script, and it looks like there will be another production sometime this year in Brazil.

I am of course very proud of that.  I also encourage you to buy your own digital copy of it from Indie Theater Now, for about a buck fifty!

The second thing I want to tell you more about my play Some Unfortunate Hour- which is also available from Indie Theater Now for the same low price.  The play is a funny, savage, and sad story about love and desire and being lost.  There is a monologue at the end of the play that I think would be a great audition piece for an actress.  In it, Janus- the smart ass bartender, finally comes clean with how she feels to Tom, the guy who comes to her bar every night to complain about pretty much everything.  Janus has loved Tom for a long time, and they even made love one drunken evening.  But she has never told him the depth of her feelings- hoping that he would figure things out and come to her.  Here's the monologue, with a little bit of Tom.  I hope you dig it:

JANUS

You are such a fucking stupid asshole!  Just shut up and let it go.  Come over tonight.  Come home.  You can just sleep.  I don't care.  I'll take care of you tonight.  You owe me that much.

 TOM

What do you mean, I owe you?

 JANUS

I love you, you stupid son of a bitch!  Okay?  Get it?  You're it.  What did you just say about love?  I care about you more than anything in the world, mother fucker.  In the entire world.  Me.  Anything.  Including- especially me!  I worship you. I don't know why- you're an asshole. But I do.  I fucking hate it, but I absolutely adore you.  We're meant for each other, you stupid motherfucker.  Open your eyes!  Who listens to your crazy shit?  Who takes care of you?  Who was there when the shit hit the fan and your so called friends couldn't be bothered?  Me, you colossal asshole! I'm good for you.  God damn it, I'm fucking great for you, and you know it!  You know I am.  I'm hope.  I'm your only fucking hope, you stupid asshole!  Grow a pair, you fucking Mary!  Oh my fucking God!  God Damn you!  You parade your stupid shit, your bullshit little boy bullshit, in front of my face like I'm not there.  Do I like her line?  Do I like her fucking line?  Fuck you!  Fuck you twice and stick it in your ass.  You're hurting me.  I fucking hurt.  We were good that time.  We were! How can we have had that and not be? You cried on my stomach!  You cried on my stomach and I knew.  I saw it clearly.  I'm- I'm home.  I'm your home.  Let me be your home.  I love you.

 TOM

(pause) I know.

 JANUS

Why can't I be your home?  Why can't you come home?  Tell me.  Tell me right fucking now!

Well, that's all I have to say.

Now GET YOUR THEATRE ON

MADISON'S LAMENT

My description of Fenway: Last of the Bohemains continues with the character of Madison.  I named the character Madison after the VJ from MTV Kennedy, who was this right wing, hipster that was all the rage for a while back in the day.  Get it?  Madison and Kennedy are both former presidents.  Oh, the cleverness of me!  Anyway, Kennedy always seemed a little nutty to me- like she was trying to prove something, and was sort of pissed off at the left for some unknown, personal reason that had nothing to do with politics.

Madison is the beautiful trophy wife of a right wing pundit named Big Jon.  Their marriage is not exactly the portrait of marital bliss   She once was a headstrong young woman in love with her college professor, Moss- but that was seven years ago.  She has since rejected the politics and idealism of the left for the supposedly more down to earth thinking of the right.   Now, Moss has come into her life again.  And to make matters worse, her step-daughter Sunny has just confessed to being in love with Moss.   Here she is talking to herself.

MADISON

This is hopeless.  Of course he wouldn't think of her like that, she’s just a kid...Why don't people ever end up with the ones who'd make them happy?  Why am I talking to myself?   It's this place.  Drives everyone crazy. A crumbling commune full of faded hippies and forgotten dreams.  Then along comes Moss- the passionate artiste who quotes Wordsworth by heart and actually lives in the real world...I bet he makes love with his entire being.  Oh my God.  What the Hell am I talking about?  This is nuts - I'm crazy! What am I thinking.  No! No!  NO!  (pause) He does something to me, though. Fenway's right.  I should do something wild.  Shake things up. Who am I kidding?  That'll never happen.  Will I tell my husband how I feel?  Of course not.  Do I go to Moss and confess that the last seven years of my life have been a complete and total disaster?  Never.  So what will I do?  Fearless modern woman that I am, I stay in my little cage.  Brilliant.  Fear may be over-rated, but it scares the shit out of me.  But then again, sometimes he looks at me, and...God Damn it!  I wish I had never heard of Moss or this island or Big Jon Humphrey!

That's Carrie Brewer as Madison and Jack Halpin as Moss in the production of Fenway staged by Boomerang Theatre Company and Impetuous Theatre Group.

You can buy a digital copy of Fenway at Indie Theater Now for less than two bucks- 

so what are you waiting for?  

GET YOUR THEATRE ON