NOT WHO WE ONCE WERE

I did something last night I haven't done in forever. I went and saw a movie for a second time at a theatre. It's been ages since I've done that. Way longer than just before the pandemic. Time was, once, I would see a movie I liked at least twice in the theatres. And not just Rocky Horror or Star Wars. All sorts of movies. Time, Tide, habit and life have a way of changing, metamorphing on a constant basis, and that's cool. I am not bemoaning time lost or anything like that. I just haven't gone to a flick twice in forever, and it was nice.

The film in question was The Worst Person in the World, which I first watched at the Austin Film Festival. I loved it there, and I loved it last night. Watching a film twice, in a fairly short amount of time, is a trip. First off, the second viewing seems shorter than the first. Sort of like how when you drive somewhere always feels longer the first time, and gets shorter and shorter each successive drive. Second, you notice all the background stuff more, the scenery, the extras, the music. I really noticed the plot progression, how each scene is instrumental to the main characters journey, which felt so spontaneous the first time. The story still rang true, but I was just able to dissect it a bit more during the watching this time around.

I am a sucker for story. I often sort of transport into the world of whatever movie I'm watching, and suspend my disbelief immediately. As such, structure, theme, tone, all is something I ponder afterwards, because during the story I am too caught up in the moment. 

I wonder if that is how we are all approaching life now, two years into a pandemic that literally shut down pretty much everything and had all of us stuck inside our homes, pondering the greater things like life and death and what is worthwhile and what is not.

I think that's one of the reasons there are worker shortages for shitty jobs. When you realize that life is indeed short, and not in some stupid Nike commercial sort of way but in the here and now, it makes it harder to take some stupid, low paying job doing mind numbing work. Not that those sort of jobs aren't okay to take, indeed necessary at times. It just puts them in perspective. Makes it easier to say the glorious words "I quit".  

I've also found it easier to make decisions about spending money, taking trips, visiting friends, speaking my mind, telling people I love them.

There are a lot of things I appreciate more, ever since the Covid. 

Like seeing movies a second time at the theatre, instead of waiting for it to hit HBO or Amazon. 

Someone once said there is only now. Ever. 

True that. 

So as we slide into the next phase- I was about to say slide back to normalcy, but stopped because we aren't going back. What happened to all of us happened. We are not the people we once were, and nothing can change that. 

I suppose that's always been the case, but it seems clearer now. 

At least it does to me. 

So here's to more second viewings, to quitting jobs that suck, to hugging more often, to taking walks and phone calls and actually reading the New Yorker magazine and local newspaper and that book you were supposed to read in high school but never did, to writing long birthday card inscriptions, to calling old friends out of the blue.

To doing all those things that make being alive worth being alive. 

Here's a song. It's Waters of March, by Art Garfunkel. Yeah, Art Garfunkel. I know. See, I even listen to a song by Garfunkel without Simon. If that's not a sign of change, I don't know what it.