DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOUR ASS (HONEYBOY PART 4)


In the middle of the night, on an abandoned race track, Alma and Moon are trying to raise a spirit from the dead. A strange woman has just popped out of a seemingly empty trunk. (see previous posts for more)

MOON
Uh, Alma?
ALMA
Go away, Moon!
MOON
Alma!
ALMA
What?!?!

Alma turns, sees Whiz.

ALMA (cont’d)
Uh, excuse me, lady...but we’re shooting a tv show here, and it’s a closed set. Not open to the public. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Please step out of the trunk.

Whiz stares at Alma, then at Moon.

ALMA (cont’d)
Hello? Closed set. Get out of the trunk.

Whiz slowly steps out of trunk, walks over to Moon.

ALMA (cont’d)
Thank you. In a few months, you’ll be able to see this on one of your basic cable channels.

Whiz grabs Moon by the front of his shirt, pulls him to her. She smells his face, runs her hands across his back, then kisses him full on the mouth. 

ALMA (cont’d)
Hey!

At first, Moon resists, then kisses Whiz back. Abruptly, he falls to the ground, unconscious.

ALMA (cont’d)
Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?

Whiz begins to slowly circle Alma.

ALMA (cont’d)
Fair warning- I know Tae Kwan Do. Kee-Yah!

Alma strikes a ridiculous martial arts pose. Whiz stops.

ALMA (cont’d)
Scares you, doesn’t it? Now I don’t want to hurt you, and you don’t want to be hurt, so let’s all chill and figure out what’s what. First, who the hell are you?

Whiz takes a step towards Alma.

ALMA (cont’d)
Easy, lady. Don’t make me kick your ass.

Alma takes a swing at Whiz. Whiz grabs Alma’s hand easily. Alma drops to her knees as if struck with a bolt of lightening. Whiz kneels in front of her, takes Alma’s face in her hands, then kisses her. The phantom sound of a single car roars offstage. Alma stands, looks off.

ALMA (cont’d)
(dreamily) Where’d that car come from?

...To Be Continued.

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