Burning the Old Man is probably my most successful play to date. It won the 2005 NYIT Award for Outstanding Full Length Script, has been published by NYTE, Applause, and Smith & Kraus; and has been produced in Boomerang Theatre Company, Divadlo na Zabradli of Prague, and the aforementioned Divadlo Exil. This past fall, Harvardwood did a reading of a screenplay based on the script, and it looks like there will be another production sometime this year in Brazil.
I am of course very proud of that. I also encourage you to buy your own digital copy of it from Indie Theater Now, for about a buck fifty!
The second thing I want to tell you more about my play Some Unfortunate Hour- which is also available from Indie Theater Now for the same low price. The play is a funny, savage, and sad story about love and desire and being lost. There is a monologue at the end of the play that I think would be a great audition piece for an actress. In it, Janus- the smart ass bartender, finally comes clean with how she feels to Tom, the guy who comes to her bar every night to complain about pretty much everything. Janus has loved Tom for a long time, and they even made love one drunken evening. But she has never told him the depth of her feelings- hoping that he would figure things out and come to her. Here's the monologue, with a little bit of Tom. I hope you dig it:
JANUS
You are such a fucking stupid asshole! Just shut up and let it go. Come over tonight. Come home. You can just sleep. I don't care. I'll take care of you tonight. You owe me that much.
TOM
What do you mean, I owe you?
JANUS
I love you, you stupid son of a bitch! Okay? Get it? You're it. What did you just say about love? I care about you more than anything in the world, mother fucker. In the entire world. Me. Anything. Including- especially me! I worship you. I don't know why- you're an asshole. But I do. I fucking hate it, but I absolutely adore you. We're meant for each other, you stupid motherfucker. Open your eyes! Who listens to your crazy shit? Who takes care of you? Who was there when the shit hit the fan and your so called friends couldn't be bothered? Me, you colossal asshole! I'm good for you. God damn it, I'm fucking great for you, and you know it! You know I am. I'm hope. I'm your only fucking hope, you stupid asshole! Grow a pair, you fucking Mary! Oh my fucking God! God Damn you! You parade your stupid shit, your bullshit little boy bullshit, in front of my face like I'm not there. Do I like her line? Do I like her fucking line? Fuck you! Fuck you twice and stick it in your ass. You're hurting me. I fucking hurt. We were good that time. We were! How can we have had that and not be? You cried on my stomach! You cried on my stomach and I knew. I saw it clearly. I'm- I'm home. I'm your home. Let me be your home. I love you.
TOM
(pause) I know.
JANUS
Why can't I be your home? Why can't you come home? Tell me. Tell me right fucking now!Well, that's all I have to say.
Now GET YOUR THEATRE ON
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