EIGHT O'CLOCK! THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED!

I got snippy with a librarian last night. Shouldn't have.

Sometimes, I get offended easily. 

This was one of those occasions.

I was at the Evergreen Library for a first read through of Spongebob Squarepants the Musical, which I am directing for the upcoming StageDoor High School Production. (you can get info if you click HERE)

We were a loud group. 

Not surprising, as it was me, the stage manager, music director, choreographer, and twenty high schoolers on a rainy night, stuffed into a little room in a tiny library in a miniscule town called Evergreen that sits in the Rockies a little above Red Rocks.

We had the room until 8pm, when the library closed. We read the play. We listened to the songs. We laughed, asked questions, answered questions, and began the process of putting a show together, which is one of my favorite things to do in the world.

We were at this library, far from our theatre which is over in Conifer, another little mountain town, because the theatre is opening The Importance of Being Earnest next week and was busy rehearsing.

By the end of the night, I was feeling good. Cast was great, kids even better, creative team that rare mix of talented people who are also good friends.

The clock ticked.

The hour to leave came.

I sent the young thespians off into the night, and headed out with my Stage Manager.

And this kind of insane looking woman popped her head in the room and in rather strident tones proclaimed "Eight O'Clock! The Library is closed!".

This was to a room with only me and my stage manager in it, hands full of books, already heading for the door.

I thought to myself, "poor woman, she's clearly mad."

After her rather dramatic pronouncement, she was gone, and we continued towards the front door.

This was around 8:02.

As we stepped into the hallway, the same woman, who had managed to grow more frantic, was now down the hall, away from the front door. As we walked away from her, she called after us "Eight O'Clock! The Library is closed!"

Same tone. Same urgency. 

I thought to myself, "This must be the only place she can come close to controlling in her life."

We got to the door.

It was now the ungodly hour of 8:03.

I turned to the Keeper of the Hours, who was now walking up the hallway towards us, with a smile plastered on her face that I imagine the Zodiac Killer wore when preying on his victims.

I had to pee.

So I asked her-- and I now realize this was a mistake-- if she would mind if I used the rest room on the way out. There were a few other librarians, going about their business, stacking books, putting things away, and clearly there were duties to be done after we left anyway.

The Mad Harpy of Evergreen smiled wider somehow, and in my mind, I swear her eyes bugged out like Large Marge in Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and in the same tone that was a bizarre mix of Mary Poppins and a Rottweiler, she intoned, yet again, "Eight O'Clock! The Library is closed!"

She walked swiftly towards us as she repeated her mantra.

So, I did my best impression of her, smiled widely and I hope with a tinge of madness,  said "You can just tell me no!"

It was not my best reply, but I had had enough.

And then I self righteously marched out.

I hate getting mad like that.

But sometimes, it happens. People act unkindly. Rudely even. 

And I get angry, try to be pithy, and usually end up sounding just at ridiculous as the person I bark at.

Ah well. 

Such is life.

Here's today's song. I was introduced to this song by a former student of mine, the great Jacob Wolfe. It's Everyone Else is an Asshole, by Reel Big Fish. Enjoy, and try to avoid deranged librarians. If you should be unfortunate enough to come across one, don't lower yourself to their level. Definitely not worth it.