ALTERNATE REALITY

Dreamed last night I was hanging out with President Trump. Well, not hanging out. I was at the White House for some nebulous reason, in that dream logic kind of way. It felt like when you were a kid, and your parents visited other parents, and they went off to do parent things, and you were left in the other parents house with the other parent's kid. The White House was really empty, just a few staff members in the background. Trump was like this lonely outcast kind of kid, awkward, not good with his words. He told me he needed help in communicating. Wanted to know how I was able to talk to people, to connect to the world. Then he ordered a fancy sandwich for himself, and let me order something for myself as well.

It was a peaceful kind of dream. And the president looked different. Not so angry, not so orange, not so bloated. Maybe it was an alternate reality? I often think that dreams are portals to parallel universes, worlds where there are other versions of us. Somehow, when we dream, we are allowed to travel between the worlds. I wonder if other versions of me visit this world in their dreams. What would they make of this?

Yesterday I watched too much news. The only thing I watch when I can that I like is Cuomo's daily address. That guy has the X factor for leadership in a crisis. No baloney, connects to the audience, and gives information that is useful. I usually feel better after watching one of his conferences. When I watch the White House task force, which I don't do that often, I usually feel confused, lost, and more afraid. They say that people who grew up in alcoholic households are the best lie detectors. They also say that people from the theatre are excellent at sniffing out the bull. Being both, I must be great at it. In any event, I always feel like I am being sold a bill of goods by Trump & Co. And then there's poor little Fausty. He seems like the prisoner, the one who will help the heroes with vital information when they get to act three of this strange movie.

Also yesterday, we drove to a few stores to get some things for ourselves and a friend who isn't doing well. I could not believe how clear the sky was. The Rocky Mountains stretched out forever, crisp and clear and inspiring. I wonder, when this is done, what we will do about the world, about the environment. It is such a lovely planet.  Is this whole thing the result of Mother Earth saying "enough!"?


Last night, we had dinner at a neighbor's front yard, all seated at least 6 feet from each other, in a sort of Council of Elrond setting. Nobody got up to say "One does not simply walk into Mordor", though it would have been cool if they did. There were five of us total. It was a warm, early spring evening, the sky bright blue, and the conversation awesome. I think already we are all starved for connecting with each other. Not that I mind exploring myself and my soul. I don't. I love it. But I also love people. Being near one another. Something to look forward to and to savor more after the Duration.

Then we went home and tried to watch an episode of The Great British Baking Show, but fell asleep before the technical challenge. That is a show I highly recommend. Everyone is so nice to each other in it, the food looks amazing, and it gives me faith in humanity.

Well, on to today.  Here's a song. Note on the song- first off, I don't endorse being in a room that full of people until after the Duration. Second, it is full of youthful lust and energy. Don't let it get you down because you can't go to a club at the moment. Third, do you think there is an alternate reality where Debbie Harry is President of the United States?

MEDITATION, ANOTHER WEIRD DREAM, LINES, AND A SICK FRIEND

Another theatre dream last night. This time, we were getting ready to perform Annie. This is a show I was about to open last week end at one of the schools I work at. But the show was being performed at the main stage theatre of San Jose State, where I went to college lo these many years ago. The kids were excited and running around, house was about to open, when I noticed a bunch of sand on the stage. I looked around, and upstage, behind the scenery, was this huge diorama of of beach of some sort, and. this classic old professor who was working on it. I asked him what the hell he was doing. He told me, due to budget concerns, that he was told to do his work there. Then my tech director/choreographer and I began sweeping up the sand, and we got ready for the show to begin.

So, yesterday we started meditating to this audio thing by Deepak Chopra that a friend sent to us. Takes about 15 minutes, and then there is a little task to do. The task was to write down at least 50 people who have inspired and/or mentored me, alive or dead, someone I knew or an artist or whatever whose work had an impact on me. And that was a great list to make. I have had so many wonderful people in my life, and the world is full of inspiring teachers and artists. And the meditation itself was peaceful, grounding, and a welcome break from all the news that is assaulting us on a minute by minute basis. I think there is going to be more and more people going on spiritual journeys of one type or another as we sit in our homes, not able to do the daily grind.

Here in Denver, we are now on a shut in, don't go out, nobody move, put your hands in the air as you enter Funky Town kind of thing. So we went out to get a new land line phone, and get Lisa some wine before the liquor stores close. The line for the booze was out the door and around the block. I wonder how many jokes there will be about that, like there were about toilet paper. I suspect little to none. Making fun of toilet paper is just so easy. I mean, you get to say the word toilet. I personally don't care about people hoarding toilet paper. I do worry about all these people who think they're being rebels by hanging out in large groups on beaches and at parties,  thinking that by doing so they are sticking it to the man. I get the desire to hang out, and the need to stick it to something these days- but come on. There have got to be better ways to do that besides exposing themselves and everyone they come into contact with to a virus that seems hell bent on taking out a good chunk of the world's population.

Today, we are going to work on the garden, work out, take a long walk while maintaining social distance, do what work we can from home, read to each other, clean out yet another closet, and try to maintain our sanity. And I will write a bit, and make a video with my dog.

Also, I think one of my best friends in this world might have it. That's what his doctor's think. He seems to be ok. We play Dungeons and Dragons via zoom, and played last night. I am hoping it is just a really bad flu, like what that weird orange guy says it is. As much as I can't stand our dear leader, I would be just fine if his bizarre predictions came true. My friend is healthy in general, and I am certain he will get through this. But holy shit. So, if you are getting funky with meditation or religion or tarot cards or Jesus or whatever floats your spiritual boat, put a candle in the window and think good thoughts.

Ok. Here is a song. More later.

IF EVER THERE WAS A TIME

Another weird theatre dream last night. I was in an immersive show, some sort of slapsticky comedy like Kaufman & Hart meets Neil Simon, set in a suburban home. In between acts, my character, the cranky father of the house, ties up some burglar, so that the second act opens with mayhem. As we are doing the show, in the intermission, we realize we don't have the right rope for the bit, and start to panic. The lights come up, or rather the act begins as we let the audience walk into the room of the house that this act takes place in, and improv. Wing it, as they say. Make shit up. And somehow, it goes ok, the audience loves it, and we all know the show will live another day. After the performance, I walk to my agent's office. In this dream, I have an agent, and he lives in a city that is a mix of Denver and NYC, and he is former Denver Post theatre critic John Moore. I go there because I have decided it is high time I got more work out in Hollywood. More for my writing than my acting, but in the dream those two aspects of my career are as blended as Denver and NYC. When I get to the office, I realize it is up to me, and no one else, what happens. So I hop a bus and head home.

So.

It's Monday. Todays events include cleaning out a closet, another round of Dungeons and Dragons- which we started playing yesterday and was so fun. I had forgotten just how much fun it was to play. I had a game that went on most of my high school years, and what I had forgotten was how much it forces you to interact, to make stuff up, to imagine. And to laugh. A lot. Going to read more books again today. Did that yesterday, and it was so relaxing and inspiring and invigorating. I read a short story and a chapter of McKee's Story. Not reading something on my phone or computer was much more relaxing as I didn't have those little pop up notifications telling me to break my concentration and look at yet another headline about what the President said or how many more people are sick or whatever else. For me, being able to go to another world with no distractions while awake is vital. It gives me super powers. So more reading. Also, have to talk with folks up in Superior about how to figure out things for classes and our production of School of Rock. Or course, all up in the air, but must be done. There are possibilities. Yesterday, I did a large Zoom chat with the cast of Sweeney Todd from StageDoor up in Conifer. We were set to open in a few weeks, but had to postpone. We all talked for an hour, and it was needed. Human connection is always possible, and it feels like, at least for me, we are figuring out how to do that in our quasi-social-distancing-world. After the chat, we decided we should all re-enact scenes from the show at home with our pets and post them. So keep an eye out for me and Padfoot, my one of a kind dog, doing a scene from Sweeney Tood soon. Also plan on doing some Deepak Chopra thing a friend sent us. Why not? Seems like if ever there was a time for meditation, it's now.

In fact, it seems like there are lots of things that "if ever there was a time" covers. Calling old friends. Finishing that book. Writing that script. Singing that song. Tending to your garden. So often, we pretend we are immortal and have all the time in the world. And no doubt, after the Duration, we will go back to some of that. But not me. Not now.

Ok, must go decide if Padfoot or I will be Mrs. Lovett. Or Lisa.

WHEN THINGS ARE WORST

Had a weird dream last night. Was at the Denver Center, where I work as a teacher in my so-called real life, you know, that time back before we went through the dimensional door that brought us here, to a land of social distancing, constant checking of numbers both worldwide and in the US, empty streets and overfull parks, wondering about bills and shopping and surgical masks and ventilators. Anyway. In the dream, I was in one area, working on my playwriting class or something like it, and upstairs, there was a rehearsal going on for two musicals going up in tandem, called "Matilda and Matilda times three", which was both the sequel and part three of the musical Matilda. I figure this was somehow connected to the fact that a few months ago, which seems like an eternity now, my company Sasquatch Productions put up an amazing Matilda at the PACE down in Parker, directed by my business partner and friend August. The sequels seemed to be going well. Most of the cast from the show in Parker were in it. And we had the same stage manager, Lara. She came down to my are to tell me things were going well. My class was over, so I bid all the budding playwrights good night, and went upstairs to say hello to the cast. Everyone was having fun, working hard, worried about certain scenes and songs. The usual fare in a musical. And that's what seemed weird in the dream. Everything was like before.

So, today, I'm going to try and actively figure out how to move forward with all the shows I was in rehearsals for. Annie, Sweeney Todd, and School of Rock. Not that anything will be like before. But theatre is what I do. That and teach. And write. No pandemic can change that basic fact. It can change show dates, how we do it, where I teach, and what I write about- but I am still I.

Also, last night Lisa and I played an online version of Ticket to Ride with Ryan and Lauren out in NYC. It was awesome. We all had the game on our tablets and/or laptops, and had set up a factime. I highly recommend this for people far away you can't get to but would like to hang out with.

Today, I get to do a Zoom chat with the cast and creative team of Sweeney. Double boom and hurrah.

And I have already amassed many pages of notes and am starting an outline for new screenplay.

So yeah.

I think things are going to get bad for awhile. Numbers are spiking. Hospitals are filling up. People we know are going to get sick. We will most likely get sick.

But we have to remember. We are we. As the alien said in Starman, we are at our very best when things are worst. Let's make that so.

JUST DROPPED IN

Made the mistake of watching the news right before going to sleep last night. Strange dreams, full of foreboding, and woke up at 5am, sure something really bad had just gone down.

Which is probably true. We are in a pandemic, the numbers are spiking, and our current President seems unable to do anything other than say "everything's great! We go this, don't you worry." I mean, did you watch that press conference yesterday? I think asking what he would say to a frightened American was kind of an easy question. But he freaked out. Why? What is up with this guy?

On other news, I've decided to start work on a new screenplay, pretty much straight up autobiography kind of thing, coming of age and all that. It just feels like the right story for me to tell at this time and place. Maybe by tonight, I'll think that's nuts. But that's where I am today. And as far as writing goes, I do what I think I should, unless being paid large sums of money by some studio.

I am also seriously thinking about filming myself reading my journal from high school. Working title: I Was a Teen-Age Born-Again.  Used to do it at parties for laughs, because I was sooooo full of myself back then. Still am, of course. I mean, I post a blog daily during a freakin' pandemic.

What else? Mind scattered this morning. Got up late, making coffee now, just let the dog out. My dog Padfoot. He's a bit of a nut, but most awesome. Great thing about dogs, they always have their priorities straight. Eat. Sleep. Love. Play. I am getting to his way of thinking.

And Kenny Rogers died. Maybe I should look up one of the Gambler movies and watch it in his honor. And for sure, The Big Lebowski. The dream sequence song is by him, which always surprised me. We've been watching lots of stuff. As has most folks, I think. We turn to the arts. I am also making my way through BoJack Horseman, finally. It's smart, funny, and also a bit sad.

Also, last night while cleaning up after dinner, I came upon a livestream home concert by Toby Lightman. She used to tend bar at Bryant Park Grill when I was a waiter there. I used to always call out to her light Sweeney Todd "Toby, where are you?", and she'd smile kindly and then make d drinks I needed. She went on to have a career in music. It was so beautiful to just clean up and listen to this heartfelt lovely music streaming live. You can go HERE to follow her on Facebook.

Ok. Gotta go in a sec. Taking our daily morning walk, while we still can. Priorities, people. Priorities. For the Duration.

THE DURATION

Waiting for the cabin fever. The worms. The Man. Godot.

Not really, though. Set up a sort of schedule yesterday, and that was great. Cleaned house. Worked on script. Played a game called Hunt a Killer. Got set for a campaign of D & D. Watched Schitt's Creek. Watched it Snow.

It snowed here yesterday. Several inches. I've always felt snow is magic, that it portends to good things. Sometimes, I think it is a sign from my old mentor Taft Miller. I remember, in the spring of 1993 I think, there were floods all over the country. Huge floods. And Taft talked about how Mother Nature can only be contained for so long. That levee's break, hurricanes and earthquakes are part of the deal. We can't control everything. Much as we'd like to. Makes me think of my favorite quote from The Lord of the Rings, which I remember being on posters after 9/11.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 

That's pretty straight up accurate.

Speaking of these times. As I was working on the script yesterday, I came to a scene that involved a line of people at Costco, waiting for free samples. Remember those? I wonder if they will come back, or if that will go the way of the DoDo? It was always a chance for grown women and men to cut in line, hover like vultures for scraps of food they most likely didn't need and often didn't even like all that much, and behave badly. Not that samples was a bad idea in and of itself. Having some nice person say "here, try this, you might like it" is quite nice. But there were times, on a busy week end day at Costco, where people would go a little nuts, mashed around the hot sausage or pizza tots or whatever.

So, not sure if scene will stay or not. The plan for the moment is to finish the script- episode two of a ten episode limited series. I want to finish at least three episodes. Maybe, after the Duration, I'll have something to sell. Lord knows I'll need the money. No work sucks. And not knowing when I will work again, or how bills will be paid, sucks even more.

But enough. Things suck all over. Just have to decide what to do with the time I've been given. Things suck, yes. Things have been bad before, and will be bad again. But things will also get better. Victories will come. Joy will arrive. This too shall pass. We will get through the Duration.

That's what I'm calling this time period. The Duration. A rough patch that will require ingenuity and courage and determination. I think it's what they called World War II while it was going on. The Duration. 

BIRDS AND DRAGONS

Yesterday was pretty good. Had my own personal fairy princess guide me through the day, and it was awesome. I've always been fairly certain that my wife is part fairy. She sort of glides through this world, and can make things sparkle just by being near them. She doesn't age. And I am pretty sure she can read minds.
So, yesterday my fairy guide and I drove up to Rocky Mountain National Park, to get away from all that is going on and see some natural beauty. This was a good idea, and I highly recommend, if you can, to go somewhere you can get outside, see beauty, and also do the whole social distancing. Because we can't do world distancing. I think it is essential to experience life as much as we can. Lisa made sandwiches and snacks, I gassed up the car, wiped and cleaned and sanitized everything, and we headed west, up 36. At the town of Lyons, we found the road to Estes Park- the place where the Stanley Hotel of The Shining is located, was closed. But there was a detour, a road we had never taken. We figured what the hell, took that road.
This was the right thing to do. The drive was gorgeous, with stunning views of Mt. Meeker as well as this little stone church that didn't look real it was so pretty. And we were seeing things we had never seen before. As we drove, we listened to music. We had both had enough news. This, too, was the right thing to do. Have you noticed how much more music touches you these days?


At the park, we met a few Magpies. And they had a few things to say to us. And when I say a few I mean a lot. First, as we were driving, there was this one sitting on a branch. Lisa wanted a photo, we stopped. I rolled down my window for the shot, and the bird turned to me and started going off. I swear it was trying to tell me something. Later, we were having our little picnic before our hike, and another one flew up, and also tried to tell us something. Quite urgently. I think it was saying something like "you just have to keep living. Give me some of your food. This too shall pass, but don't be stupid. Just a bit of your bread would be fine. Tell people you love them more. Bread, now. We, the birds, will protect you on your journey. Also, seeds would be good. Peace be with you..."

Later, I got on a Facetime call to set up a game of Dungeons and Dragons. And it was awesome. Not just setting up the game, but spending time with people I love. How quickly has that become precious. They have not played D&D before, and it's been a few years for me, but already I can tell this will be fun. Creating characters, exploring worlds, casting spells- together. Today we figure it all out. 

And then, I read. For an hour or so. That, too, had more magic in it than usual.

Well, I think the magic is always there. I've just seen more of it than usual, because my third, fourth, and fifth eyes have all been pried open by recent events.

Let's see what today brings.

https://youtu.be/JwJr9Rniofc