THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Dreamt last night about work. One of the places I work at is Reel Kids, a place where we teach TV/Film & Theatre. It's mostly after school classes and week-end sessions, as well as summer camps. A lot of the kids are part of different troupes, and it's a big part of their lives. In the dream, we were meeting at a park as part of the new reality. Kids were gathering, and class was about to start, and a parent was dropping off his kid. He was really angry, and venting to another teacher that we had changed our schedule and even cancelled some classes due to the virus. I tried to speak to him, but no matter what I said, his anger only grew. It was one of those dream conversations that seem to go on and on and on. Finally I woke up.

I've been interacting with lots of folks online. As no doubt we all have. Most people are doing what they can. And most people are freaking out. Some complain about the dreaded toilet paper hoarders. Some talk politics. I had one guy this morning sounding the alarms and saying the US was becoming the same as Nazi Germany (no lie) because NYC was saying you can't have large amounts of people in a church. I have vented clouds and clouds of steam about my anger at the current administrations lack of action in a time of crisis. At home, Lisa and I can argue about pretty much anything, and have a couple of times. None of this is shocking, I think. We are in Bizzaro Universe, only not a funny one like in the comic books or Seinfeld. This is a world with terrifying statistics and images on our screens, an army of fear phantoms marching through our collected unconscious, and a constant sense that nobody quite knows how to stop it.

I'm going to try and do less shouting, more listening. When I do speak, I'm going to try to be more positive. Stop arguing about what might happen, and instead respond to what is happening. Easter seems like a million years from now. Right now, I think packed churches is a mistake, and urge everyone to not do that. In the future, who knows. I don't live in the future. I may sound like a cheesy self help book, or that friend who is into wind chimes and ointments and Rumi and Tai Chi. So be it. I need to exit the Panic Room and enter the yoga studio.

I'm not saying I won't lose it, freak out, yell at the tv, PRINT IN ALL CAPS WHEN I'M UPSET, respond to my few Trump following friends with vitriol and bile. I'm sure I will. I'm just going to try and be better about it. (yes, I purposefully used the "be better") Now, today, I'm going to go over the stimulus bill and the new unemployment rules and try to figure out what can be done, so this kinder, gentler Kelly may last only an hour or so. But that's an hour of peace.

Things that have helped: Connecting with friends and family both through email, and even good old phone calls. Those are the best. I called a cousin I hadn't spoken to in years yesterday, and we talked for almost an hour. It was awesome. Meditating. I mentioned before we are doing this Deepak Chopra thing, and it is really calming, energizing, and easy.  Takes all of fifteen minutes. Walking. We get up early and walk for almost an hour, keeping social distancing. We connect with the world, the neighborhood, kids playing, nature. Games via Zoom, Skype, and facetime with friend and family has quickly become a thing in our house, and it rocks. And of course reading all the books I've been meaing to read, finishing all those streaming shows I paused halfway through, and so on. Oh, and podcasts. If you haven't gotten into them yet, this might be the time.

Well, I was going to go on about how the world economy will have to change, how the environment seems to be doing better when we leave it alone, and yada yada yada. But time has run out for today.

More tomorrow. Here's a song.