BEFORE AND AFTER

Slept in, woke up to another bizarre snow day with no school, no work, no going to the movies, no going to a restaurant, no high fives or hand shakes or hugs, no work out at the gym, no rehearsals in the theatre, none of that. Also, no constant roar of traffic, no brown cloud on the horizon, no doubt about what's important and who I care about or what I love or what I want to do. It's a mish-mash of things, isn't it? Some days are good, some not so much. But even when I space out, which is often, I feel more connected to the here and now, to myself and to everyone. I notice what the weather is like a lot more. I see flowers popping out as spring comes more. I listen to music and hear more of it. Background noise has somehow gone away. I don't know if my sonic filter has evolved due to circumstances, but it seems to be the case. Will this be like Flowers for Algernon, and when it's all over, I go back to the old me? Will we all? Will some of us become hippies who denounce all possessions and go form communes while others go hard-core paramilitary and go form compounds? Will I wake up soon from this dream?

Speaking of dreams, last night's were a series of runaway trains, all crashing through the nightscape of my mind, whistles blaring and out of control. Some were off the tracks. Some could fly. Some were ghost trains. As the trains passed, I could glance into some of them and catch little snippets of stories. Something from my childhood. A monster. Outer space. Padfoot must have picked up on it, because he got up several times, demanding to be let out to pee. Then he'd come back in, walk the room, sit by my side of the bed, walk the room, sit by Lisa's side of the bed, and walk the room some more.

Maybe it's because I watched the news before sleeping again. I think it is important to watch a little of the news, but not too much. I mean, there is so much crap going on that drives me nuts. A hospital ship that can serve a thousand people, sitting in NYC harbor with only three patients? Stockpiles of needed materials running out? States that still haven't issued stay at home orders, making sure this fucking disease continues to flourish? Lots of madness out there. Loads. Scads. It's like there's a Santa bag of endless toys in the White House, but the toys being passed out are all variations of Talking Tina from the Twilight Zone, driving already weak minds over the edge of sanity.

Well, what a happy entry today.

On the not so terrible front: I worked on new screenplay yesterday, and got some good stuff in. Early scenes that may or may not make it to the final draft, but that help me figure out the world of the story. Played D&D with one groups of friends, where we battled a manticore and met up with some orcs, and have another campaign to play today with my brother who is in Michigan and my sister who is in California. Did some extra meditation stuff yesterday, which was lovely. Started One Planet on Netflix, which is numinous. And got some reading in.

On the blah front: have to go over the stimulus package today to figure out what all I can do. Some of my jobs are cancelled, some are postponed, some are there but with less hours. And who knows when things will go back to some variation of normal where I can work as much as I did before.

There's a word we will here more and more of. Before. Before the virus. Before the shut down. Before the world changed. Before we went to sleep. Before we woke up. Before we realized we need to rethink our healthcare system. Before we changed our whole economic system. Before we stopped being afraid and did what was right and made the world a better place for everyone. Before.

Here's a song.