FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE

Another weird theatre dream. We were in NYC on a visit, and were gong to see the new show that everyone was talking about like it was the next The Ferryman. Lisa had somehow already seen it and wanted me to see it as well, so there we were. We were out front of the theatre, the day before we were meant to go, and something had happened to the power in the building during Act One, and people were outside, waiting to the OK to start it up again. We decided it would be fun to drop in on Act Two and see what was happening. When the show was supposed to start, there was a loud popping sound, and the stage manager announced they were having technical difficulties and to please stand by. So we left. Then it was the next day, and we were in line again, this time for the whole show, start to finish. Everyone was excited, talking about the show, how much they were looking forward to it, and so on. I noticed that Paul Reiser outside, and I knew he was the playwright for the show, like you do in dreams. So I went up to him and we chatted about the show. He was very nice. For some reason, I decided I needed a good cappuccino, and didn't want to pay the exorbitant price they charge in Broadway theatre lobbies, so I asked one of the ushers where a good place for a cappuccino was. The usher, who was a very old man, pointed me to a bodega just across the street. The theatre, by the way, was on the Upper East Side, where I lived for several years, which is nowhere near the theatre district. So, I walked over to the bodega. It was open, but nobody was there. I called out, looked around, and heard a noise in the back. I went to investigate, and found this door with a mail slot in it. In the slot was a person's face, looking out at me. And it was Eddie Murphy. He was mad. Like crazy mad. And chaotically magic, like a character in Alice in Wonderland. He yelled at me some nonsensical rhymes, then somehow morphed and oozed through the mail slot, with a clear intent of malice As he oozed, I began to shrink. Then Eddie Murphy and I had a big battle, crashing about the bodega. Somehow, I managed to escape, and made it back to the theatre. By the time I got there, the show had started and I had missed the first act. Paul Reiser was there, and we started talking about the show, which was about people dealing with the aftermath of school shootings. I tried to tell him how I knew some folks who had lost family in shootings, and started to cry. Then I woke up.

No idea what that's about other than waiting, chaos, unfulfilled hope, and sorrow.

So, sometime soon, we here in Colorado are set to do a sort of semi-re-opening of some business. Nobody is sure what it means, when it will be, if it will cover all of the state or if some cities and counties are going to stay on lockdown. Most folks think it's too soon, that we need better testing and a lot more of it. Also, it seems like social distancing's goal was to slow the spread, and that seems to be working so far, so a lot of people like me are wondering why we are changing a plan mid-course, when we had already hunkered down. I think a lot of us have forgotten that the original plan wasn't to stop the spread from happening, but to slow it down so we don't overload our hospitals, which would in turn reduce the type of care people can get and lead to more fatalities. A good thing to avoid. I have this horrible vision of us reopening, rates spiking upwards again, and thousands dying needlessly. Most of us are also beginning to feel the pain of jobs either cutting hours our vanishing altogether. And for lots of folks, us included, the vaunted checks from the government have not arrived. And filing for unemployment is difficult at best, especially for people who work several different jobs, with a mix of W2 and 1099 contracts. Which is where most folks who work in the theater land. Myself included. Still, I do not think we should open up so soon, without the ability to test people on a mass scale. What if we do, things go South, and then we have to close up for longer, with even stricter guidelines? Over 50,000 dead already in the USA. Close to a million confirmed American cases, and I have no doubt we will cross that threshold today or tomorrow. If we are already screwed financially (and I think we are) why are we doing this? You would think in a global pandemic that an abundance of caution would be the way to go, but no.

Maybe that's what the dream was trying to tell me. If you go leave your place in line to for something amazing, be it a new show or a healthy life with the ones you love, just to save a few dollars for something you don't even need, you will end up attacked by an angry xenomorph louder than Eddie Murphy, and if you survive, by the time you get back to where you were headed, the parade will be halfway over and you will end up sitting outside weeping as you try to speak of the dead.

Here's a song. It's Money by the Flying Lizards.