THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING IN THE AGE OF CORNA VIRUS

It sort of all feels like the episode that you fell asleep watching of the show you've been bingeing. You meant to watch just one more episode, but couldn't bring yourself to turn it off. Every time you were about to turn off the tv, the next one would start and you'd think "well, just one more". And finally, somewhere past midnight, you nod off a bit. You rewind, try to figure out where you fell asleep. Was it this episode, or the one before? Things look familiar, and some of the plot points makes since, but others are confusing. And who is this new character? So,  the next day you rewatch from an episode you are sure you were awake for at least most of, and continue. And sometimes that's how it feels with the virus. Like I've missed a few episodes. The world still seems like the world, but some of it doesn't make sense, some roles have been reversed, and I'm not sure who the current episode centers on. Is it the doctor who keeps saying we need to at least double our testing? Is it the corrupt leader who is in way over his head, providing comic relief of  a sort, dark comic relief that could be classified as gallows humor? Is this the stand alone episode happening outside of the main events, following a misguided working class grunt who believes his rights are being taken away and joins a protest movement only to end up contracting the disease in the final moment? Will there be a cliff hanger? A season two? If there is a season two, will it change in tone? And if it does continue, how many episodes will I doze through, late at night, only catching snippets of , just enough to be able to join in conversations, but not enough to really know what is happening, where the show is going, or who killed J.R.

Also, is it me, or are there not really an images or footage of what it looks like when a person has it? I don't mean to be grim, but why aren't we being shown the actual effects? Or what it looks like to be on a respirator? I find it hard to believe that all the news outlets just decided "no, that would be too much." We have seen plenty of awful things on our TVs. But not this. We see lots of shots of people in masks, nurses telling chilling stories of patients pleading for their lives, protestors on the steps of capitols toting rifles. But no patients in their rooms. I wonder if their is some sort of law, like the one they had during the Gulf War, that wouldn't allow cameras to record soldiers dying, or their coffins returning home. It is morose and terrible, but it is happening. Death is, after all, part of life. And we don't like to acknowledge it. It almost seems like, if we can just not see it, then maybe it will go away, won't be real, and this will all be a bad dream, and we won't have to feel so bad about not wearing masks as we walk in the park or sneak a visit in at our friends house and ignore the whole six foot thing.

I'll tell you what does seem real to me, in this surreal life. The people we walk by in the early morning, as we walk the neighborhood. Voices of old friends I've been meaning to call forever and finally did. The long, hard laugh we had last night playing Cards Against Humanity with some friends via video chat. The clear skies over the Rockies. All the in home concerts and readings artists keep posting. My dog, who has gone insane but still exudes joy every moment of every day. My wife,  who is there for the good and bad, the exciting and mundane.

One other thing so abstract I can't really get a hold of it is the economy. It just doesn't make sense to me. We are one species, we have some serious problems right now, why is anyone, anywhere, having to worry about paying for medical help? We need everyone healthy, or this thing will keep on keeping on, right? Logic would dictate that, for all of our benefit, we need to help all of us. Stock market? Unemployment rate? Huh?

And I missed the part of the episode with the disinfectant. What happened? I get conflicting stories. Most people think it was this really funny, awful moment. A few tell me it didn't happen. And a few others say it was this sad, ironic moment where we realize how clever ol' Brer Trumpy is, tricking people into thinking he's a moron.

I guess today's main message is: I must watch TV more vigorously.

Here's a song. It's Video Killed the Radio Star, by the Buggles, and was of course the first music video ever played on MTV.