STARDUST AND LOVE

Last night's dream was epic, like Day After Tomorrow or Independence Day epic. Lisa and I were both in NYC, were working for the DCPA which was also NYU, the virus was going on but in the dream it was a giant system of storms. The city was still full of folks, as in this reality social distancing was not part of how to deal with it. We were both supposed to go to this large end of the year meeting in one of the theatre buildings, in a medium sized theater space that could seat about 300. I got there, and the place was full, and on stage they were trotting out set pieces from the season they wanted to get rid of. Lisa wasn't there yet, but had texted me she was on her way. I noticed all the teachers were heading for the door. And then an alarm went off. We all got up and headed out. It wasn't mass panic, more like when we had to evacuate during 9/11- lots of people trying to get somewhere, some freaking out, some in disbelief, some just forging ahead. I got to a hall with a long glass wall, and looked out. right outside, and coming downwards, was a huge tornado. I could see up into it. People were being directed one way to a shelter, but I knew Lisa was several blocks north of there, and nowhere near the shelter. I had to get to her. I ran down the stairs, and out across Union Square. The streets were now empty. Someone yelled out to me to get to the shelter. I tried to yell out how I had to find Lisa, how nothing else mattered. But all I could do was cry, and the more I tried to tell this anonymous person how much I loved her and needed to get to her, the more I cried. Then I woke up.

Can't believe we are going to be doing this for another month. Seems like we've all been in our homes, figuring out how to spend time ourselves, for a long time. Some of it I do not mind. Introspection, reading, calling old friends I should have called but haven't in ages, cooking more, meditating, this blog. Those are all positives, to be sure. Not being able to hug friends, have a rehearsal with actors in the same room, go to a movie in a movie and/or play in a theatre, have other people into our home for a meal- these things I miss. But it does make me realize what I miss, what I find important, and what I don't find so important. I really love seeing nature sort of come back a bit, with cleaner skies, more birds in the neighborhood, and even more wildlife venturing out. I wonder if this reassessment of what matters will carry over after the Duration? I imagine it will. I think our economic system will have to change, as well as our medical system and how we care for each other. And our planet too. In a weird way, I think a lot of us feel like maybe the world is chastising us for being so damn stupid- polluting our air and water, denying folks basic health care even though a healthy population helps everyone, and so on. Magical thinking, I know- and there are some who are using this to say it's God punishing us for liking the gays. Those people are nuts. They remind me of the group of rabbits in Watership Down who let the farmer who takes care of them kill some of them from time to time because he also feeds them and let's them live a nice life (until he needs to eat them) and create this weird cult out of the way it works. In the story, which follows a group of displaced rabbits on an odyssey as they search for a new home,  Fiver,  a rabbit with some psychic powers, says of these rabbits who have made up a belief system that allows for percentage of them to be killed off that"they are in love with death". I feel like I see some of those death loving rabbits on Facebook more and more.

Last night, we had an old friend over for a social distanced meal, which meant she sat in a chair on our front lawn while we sat on the porch. Lisa, who expresses her love through her cooking, made a fantastic pasta dish and a lovely cake. We had to be extra careful with serving the food, used gloves, and only put the candle on a slice of cake so that our guest of honor could blow it out without blowing all over the whole cake. It was a grand time. A few neighbors walked by, and we would say hello. Lisa kept wanting to give them slices of cake, but they all politely, and probably wisely, declined. At 8 pm, a lot of people started howling out their windows. We joined in, not sure if this was in gratitude for all the people working in the hospitals and at stores and such, or just an expression of life, but it felt great. Having been a life-long howler who has heard the Chime at Midnight many a time, I never pass an opportunity to howl into the night. After dinner, I did the dishes while Lisa turning into Gene Gene the Dancing Machine for my entertainment. A magic, unique night.

We are all still alive. We are all full of magic. We are all made of stardust and love.

Here's a song.