A TALE OF TWO DREAMS

Had two contrasting dreams last night, divided by Padfoot waking me up to go outside and do his business. First dream, I'm in NYC on a visit. It's the NYC before the virus. packed and crazy and teeming with life. We're walking up Broadway from Midtown, heading for a friends place, when I run into a former student who just got into NYU. She's super excited and happy, and tells us all about it. She's so excited and has so much to tell us about that she joins us on our walk, chatting away. As we cross an intersection, a man who is clearly not stable or happy is shouting his misery to the world. Most people walk by him, taking no notice. As we pass him, he aggressively spits on my former student and runs off. As we are reacting, I wake up to Padfoot barking. Sometimes I think he is tuned into my dreams, and knows when to pull the cord on one. So I get up, let him out, look at our rain soaked back yard which is peaceful and lovely. The dawn is just beginning to think about showing up, so there is a light silvery light to the world. I go back to bed, and have another dream. This time, I'm in a lovely park, that is a cross between Vasona, a park nestled in the foothills of the Santa Cruz Mountains near Los Gatos, and the park in Boulder next to the library. I am teaching a theatre class, and have  been given a new book to use for my class, full of quotes and lessons. Today's class is on Stanivslavski's influence on the world of acting. It's a perfect Spring day, and we sit in a circle, reading from the book, playing theatre games, laughing and enjoying every moment. It starts to rain, and we run for cover. I realize I left the book in the middle of the field, run to get it, and a nice police woman has found it and kept it dry. I thank her, and we all head inside to this nice library/school space. Inside, a friend of mine is in charge. She tells us we are just in time for coffee and snacks. And then the alarm goes off.

As I lay in bed, thinking of those dreams, I thought about the country right now, so divided and angry and yet so full of love and hope. I'm glad they came in that order, because that's sort of how I process what I see and hear, what I watch on the news and read in the papers. I see anger and fear and lots of people shouting and screaming their dismay to a seemingly uncaring world. Some of them spit at one another. Or worse. And it feels like we are all lost in this rushing stream of humanity that is unable and/or unwilling to change in anyway whatsoever. But then I see families on their porches, closer than they have ever been, spending way more time than they are used to with their spouses and children. I see those children running up and down the street, making up games to pass the time and having a blast. I don't know how they got off their phones and video games, but they did. I see them. And they look so happy. I hear the howling at 8pm every night here in Denver. Last night's was especially exciting, seeing as it happened during a thunder storm. All these people opening their doors and windows and howling out their joy and love for humanity while the rain comes pouring down. Awesome and healing. Maybe we are all werewolves, changing under the moon, but instead of turning into homicidal monsters, we are both evolving into stronger beings while at the same time reconnecting with the earth, with our primal selves.

I know times are rough. So many people dead or dying. So many more people sick. It seems we are heading into a global depression. And I wouldn't be surprised if we have a huge second wave hit us thanks to opening too soon, and then shut down again, and on and on. But there is something in our spirits that keeps moving, keeps evolving, keeps finding the light. I think we have to remember that evolution is a very slow thing, and we have only been on this planet for a short time, all things considered. I am going to try and be a better person. I am going to try and listen to people who are angry and maybe insane. I am going to try and howl in the rain often as I can. If I do turn into an actual werewolf, I am going to try and not eat my neighbors. I am going to try.

Here's a song. It's Jumping Jack Flash by The Stones.