PLEASE, POST MORE MEMES. REALLY.

Woke up and all my dreams instantly teleported to Pluto and other points beyond the edge of our solar system. I could feel them leaving, like a dozen trains pulling out of my brain. And I lay there, feeling like I had been pulled out of the ocean, blinking my eyes and wondering what I would write about on the blog. Got up, go out of bed, did not drag a comb across my head, went downstairs and made the coffee, and sat in front of the computer. That has become the ritual. Wake, coffee, computer. There is something to be said for ritual, for repetition. It keeps one going. Yes, you can be on auto-pilot, but still, you're moving forward. And for me, writing is an exercise, a muscle that needs to be kept in shape. So I got online, looked at my emails and social media, and there, yet again, was a post, or rather a repost, of some meme about how over two hundred billion million people die of the flu each day, and only six people ever died from the corona virus. And I thought, what is it with the recent crop of conspiracy nuts? Why do always have to talk about seasonal flu? First off, they need to get the numbers consistent. I've seen the amount of people who die from the flu each year be anywhere from twenty to sixty thousand. And not only do the numbers fluctuate, sometimes they talk about numbers per year, sometimes per time period. This morning's meme had a comparison chart for deaths from the first of January through March twenty-fifth. Which seemed like a strange time frame, given that the majority of deaths from COVID 19 have occurred since then.  But what seemed stranger, and always bugs me, is this idea that somehow, since people die anyway from other causes, why should we care about this new form of death. It seems to diminish the deaths both those that die from the new virus, and those that die from seasonal flu. Or suicide. Or opioids. People dying before there time for any reason is bad. Maybe I'm getting the wrong message from these memes, and they are trying to say we need to do more on all these fronts, that we should be tackling seasonal flu and suicide and addiction and car deaths and whatever else they list along with the new virus. But I don't think that's what is being conveyed with these reposts of ever changing numbers about survivor rate and all that. I just think it's all a bunch of bullshit. A way for them to say that this whole thing, the virus, the shut down, all of it, is a ploy, a way for the powers that be to trick us. Which is, as I think Thomas Jefferson put it, cuckoo for coco puffs.

Don't get me wrong. I love conspiracy theories. I am certain there are alien ships somewhere being studied right this minute in top secret labs. I am also certain there is technology that can make fossil fuels obsolete. I am also fairly certain that there is an evil sprite that lives in my computer who likes to mess with my Zoom meetings, turning off audio and/or video at will for reasons none can fathom. But I need a conspiracy theory to make sense, on some level. And there are a few that just don't pan out. I'd say the top three theories for me that make no sense whatsoever are: the Earth is flat and NASA and all the world governments, even North Korea, are in on it; Trump is secretly super smart and he's just pretending to be a moron to put on over one the snowflake liberals; and the corona virus is made up and being used to enslave us. First off, if we are being enslaved, why are we not working? Isn't the point of slaves to have them do the work you don't want to do? Is there some part of a shadow government that needs me to write a blog each day because they don't want to? Is there a cabal of evil doers who think the best way to take over the world is less hair cuts and more people wearing the same clothes for days or weeks on end? I mean, what are they gaining from this? Nothing more than the joy of a prank well played? Or were they just really hoping they could get people to tell bad jokes about toilet paper? What is the endgame?

And the thing that I ponder about as I see these weird reposts (always a repost) is how do I respond? I usually don't, because all that does is add fuel to the fire. I think a good conspiracy nut needs someone to question them. It gives them something to do. Reply with a link to a site they found on Reddit. Or another repost. Usually it does get them to write in their own words. Which is usually what confirms for me that the original post came from somewhere else, as the language is almost always different. I don't know about you, but it's clear to me when someone is writing in their own hand and when they are doing the old cut and paste routine from school. I do want to respond. I want to tell them that yes, people dying from the flu and car crashes and cancer sucks. It sucks a lot. That doesn't mean that additional deaths from a new virus that has spread across the globe is acceptable. Yes, there are people and organizations in the world who are selfish and horribly misguided who do bad things to the planet and the human race, but I don't think one of them is the scientific community. I would look to oil companies, corporate farms, and whomever it was who cancelled Finding Bigfoot. I want to tell them that life on this planet is precious and beautiful and they need to remember that while spending hours on a twitter thread the secret tunnels under Denver International Airport.

But for the most part, I just shake my head and move on. There are bigger fish to fry, better conspiracies to consider.

Here's a song. It's I wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones.