Feeling calm this morning. Been wandering through the desert, tossed about on the high seas, and lost in space of late. So many things going on, at every level. Home, family, community, nation, and world all are in a state of chaos, it seems. Like someone gave over the reins to Heath Ledger's version of the Joker, but in this scenario, Batman is nowhere to be found. The madness seems to come in waves, where there are good days and bad days. But regardless of any personal triumphs or moments of hope, there has been an underlying feeling of everything being out of whack. And with that, a tiny speck of panic, a mote in the eye that annoys and distorts the vision. A slight tinge in the knees that doesn't stop me from walking, just adds a few extra aches. And then, yesterday, sitting in a theatre I work at up in Superior, watching a small, socially distanced twenty five percent capacity crowd of families and friends watch a young people's production of the musical Little Women, I felt a peace take over. A realization that all will be, if not well, what it will be, and that fretting and gnashing my teeth and losing sleep thinking things over and over is not the way to go. It's that common sense thought of do what you can, and deal with what you can not idea that most of us, certainly me, manage to forget all too often.
There is a song by Stephen Sondheim called "Anyone Can Whistle". It starts with the line "anyone can whistle, that's what they say, easy. It's all so simple. Relax, let go, let fly. So, Someone tell me, why can't I?" That's pretty much me. All the strange, complex things in this world are a piece of cake. But remembering the basics, like life can be tough and that's okay, are difficult. "What's hard is simple. What's natural comes hard." And even though I know that, I always manage to forget it. I forget that life is a constant lesson, ever moving forward. Nothing is set in stone, and to borrow from another song, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.I am sure this moment of calm will pass too. But it's nice to remember, if only for an instant, that this too shall pass. I hope you all have moments like this as well. That you take a second, and think of your friends who love you, the family that raised you, the people who helped you along the way. There are, of course, people who made things hard, sad, awful, and so on. We all have them, to various degrees. And we have to deal with them, either directly, if it's a situation currently taking place, or indirectly, which I think is far more difficult, if they live in the past, and wreaked havoc on our childhood. The trick, I think, is to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to use a tired phrase that still happens to be true.
Life is so very short, and so sweet. We can't waste our precious time mired in feelings of rage or sorrow or spite. I mean, we can, and often do, but we shouldn't. I don't see what good it does. If something seems wrong, try to fix it. If someone upsets you, work it out. If you had a rough childhood, make peace with it as best you can. And I know that's not easy. Sometimes it's impossible. I try to keep in mind that there are plenty of people who can't reconcile their present with their past, or their present with their present, and sympathize. I don't do this to be some holier than thou person. I do it because I find it helps me deal with this world. It makes me happy. And I am selfish that way.
I encourage you, if you don't already, to give it a shot. If it's hard, or impossible, give yourself a break and realize that's okay too. To drop one last platitude, whenever I have a student get upset with herself, I tell her "don't beat yourself up. The world does that enough as it is."
Okay. Here's a song that catches the vibe a little. It's Closer to Fine by Indigo Girls.
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