CORONAVANA

I think the whole thing is dissolving, this mirage we have all accepted as reality. We must work in the same place all the time. We must post photos of what we ate for lunch, or declarations of love, or how we are connected to someone famous, whatever famous even means. All those precepts of what is important, what is real, who is in charge- all of it has come crashing down, shattered plastic slurpee cups spread on crumbling asphalt. I look at the news, and I don't feel the same. I look at my bills, and I don't feel the same. I go on social media, and I don't feel the same. Everything, every last little thing, has transmorgrified into something else. Something at once familiar and totally new.

And it feels good. It feels right. Is this what they mean when they say the scales have fallen from your eyes? Is this that sensation they say those sentenced to death feel, right before the end? That connection to everything and everyone? Is this a form of Nirvana? Coronavana? A feeling of separation, of enlightenment, of detachment, all at once. I feel peaceful, I feel calm, I fell groovy. I feel angry, I feel sad, I feel like the world is ending, at least the world I knew so far, and that a new one has begun. I feel like every atom in the universe has been altered. That, or we have vibrated to an alternate reality, a one slightly different to where we were, but close enough that we can function, know basically who we are, and what we have been, but at the same time fundamentally different. I feel love. And that is the constant.

I have had a long week, with lots of strife and stress and confusion. But even so, I feel connected to everyone and everything. I feel like I am everyone and everything. I am a Jedi, and an Avenger, a trickster, and a clown. I am a flower, a tree, the sea, and a fly. I am I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha. I am also a little tea pot, here is my handle, here is my spout.

Which is to say this: I have found I need food, shelter, and to be with those I love. The rest is shadows and fog, drums in the night, phantom trains running in the backyard. Money comes and money goes. Life is eternal and shockingly brief. When the larger artifices fall away, the smaller ones vanish.

Here's a song. It's Everyone Knows Everyone by The Helio Sequence.