ONE HUNDRED DAYS OF SOLITUDE

It's been one hundred days since I started writing this blog. I get up and write in this damn thing everyday. For me, this is not only a writing exercise, but also a way to exorcise my demons, rant about the world, document my dreams before they exit my brain completely, and in general let me mind go wherever it likes as I wake up, before all my own censors and editors jump on board and tell me to stop. And I love it. I love having this little time to myself, to my thoughts, to reflect and refract. There have been a few days where I almost missed it, where it would dawn at me close to midnight that I hadn't written an entry yet, but so far, I've made it in each day. I don't know if that is something to be proud of or embarrassed about. It's not about the consistency of doing it every day in some rigid rule based way of thinking. But I think there is something to be said for some rituals.

I wonder how much longer this phase of change, of Covid chaos and calamity and other words that begin with "c" will last? It seems like a long time, doesn't it? Sometimes, it seems like this is all that has ever been, this feeling of drifting through the universe, eyes wide open, unsure of what will happen at any given moment. And realizing that all our moments are indeed given. Something not to be taken for granted. Maybe this is all there is and all there will be and we are just waking up to a reality that has been patiently waiting for us.

In any event, the times have a-changed, I'm not sleepy, and there ain't no place I'm going to. I have found peace, fulfillment, life, love, and wonder as I've wandered this strange new world. I've also become better acquainted with hardship and worry. But in all, I feel like I am living life more fully, more in the moment, than ever before.

I fear, given the rising numbers, the lack of masks and social distancing, the crazed look some get when they step out, happily mask-less, sweaty, and full of the idea that this is somehow over, that this blog's duration will be longer that originally anticipated. So be it. I shall continue to write, to seek, to strive. I shall explore my inner sanctum, my outer banks, and everywhere in between. I hope I don't have more friends and family get sick. I hope we kick this thing in the ass sooner rather than later. I hope we get our act together in how we treat each other. How we approach science. How we tend to Mother Earth.

Until then, I remain yours.

Here's a song. It's Fly Like an Eagle by The Steve Miller Band.