WHY WE FIGHT

Trying to focus on humanity this morning. The good things. Why we fight kind of things. I find it important to do this, not from time to time but from day to day. We have so many gifts, all of us, and somehow, we find ourselves unable to enjoy them. Sometimes, it's because of economics. When you are two, three, four months behind on your bills, it's hard to wake up an extra hour early and say "time to read poetry out loud while facing the east. Other times, after hearing sirens go off and on throughout a night when there is a curfew in your city for the first time that you can remember, raising your hand to the sky in joy seems odd and too close to being arrested to make that seem like a viable option. Or if you are exhausted from all the social distancing, the worrying about your older friend who isn't wearing a mask anymore because they think it's all over, those worries can invade your mind while you try to meditate. But even so, you have to try. I do, any way. I find that times of strife, of sorrow and hardship, are when art and reflection are most needed, most helpful to a troubled soul. We I am troubled. I think we all are. Even the folks with what look like slightly forced smiles plastered on their faces as they sit outside in restaurants for the first time in months look troubled. These are the times we need to listen to a song straight through without checking our phone once during the song. When we need to open a book a poetry, flip to a random page, and read whatever we come upon out loud to ourselves and whomever is nearby, even if it's just a houseplant. When we should take a walk, with no phone on our person, and not think about turning back until we have found a flower, a tree, and a body of water. We have to, for our sanity. For our survival.

Some might say that right now is not the time for that. That we have bigger fish to fry, larger problems to solve. And that's cool.  I understand that line of thought. I just disagree with it. If we have things to do, we need to be healthy and composed. Centered. Clear on our priorities. And I don't think Tiger King bingeing alone will do the trick. Or eating a lot of fast food. Or drinking oneself to sleep, or getting high, or whatever else you use to escape. Not that we don't need escape. We do. Clearly. We are quite good at that aspect of self care. But we need to have balance with that. We need to stop and take note of where we are, how we are feeling, and why we are feeling that way. Don't we? I do. I have found, from the beginning of this pandemic, that I am best able to function when I do more with my time that just trying to recreate the world before Covid and bemoaning my fate. Don't get me wrong. I bemoan a lot. I find it easy to do. Why has this happened? When will I be able to go to a movie or concert or sports event again? When can I hug my neighbors and friends? What's going to happen? On and on. I'm not saying don't freak out. I'm saying, find time to breathe. To revel in the fact that your are alive. That you can have emotions and thoughts. That you are a human being. Yes, we can be a foolish species, and are capable of the worst things imaginable. But we are also able to create music. To sing. To dance. To dream. Remember that as you watch the news. When you stand in line, six feet from the person in front of you. When you go through the mail and get that "past due" letter. To paraphrase Thornton Wilder, you are a human being, not a chair. The fact that you exist is a miracle.

For me, I write a lot. I do this blog everyday. For myself, mostly. I need to express myself, to consider the world I am living in, which troubles me greatly and can often feel overwhelming. So I get up early, put on the coffee, and try to let some of my worries and hopes, my dreams good and bad, out, so that I can examine them. That's one of the ways I meditate. Some people find gardening helpful. Planting seeds, tending to them, and helping them grow. Whatever it is that gives you joy, do that. Call old friends. Tell a dirty joke. Look at the stars. Do something besides the same old same old. I promise it will help. We have a lot of anger and sorrow right now. This is not new. And it isn't going anywhere. Once this time passes, and it will, another terrible thing will come along. And another. That's part of the deal. Even so, life is beautiful, magic, and worth fighting for. And to get in fighting shape, you need to know what you are fighting for. Life. Love. Joy.

Here's a song. It's The Flesh Failures/Let the Sunshine In from Hair. Dig it.